World Beard Championships. Finally, a sport for the rest of us.

via the Dirty Dozen blog, belonging to my home diggity Taylor.

My first ever older-woman crush is now officially out of my league: (found on a web page about Leonardo DiCaprio)

The National Enquirer, The Globe and The Star have all sent reporters to check out an apparently true story that Leo had a very serious relationship with a Canadian television host by the name of Fran Pappert in late 1992, and 1993. Fran Pappert was the host and producer of the Canadian version of Ropmer Room, which was shown across Canada on the CTV Television network. The series was produced at CKCO TV in Kitchener, Ontario, and that is where Fran worked. Apparently, when Leo was around 18, he saw Fran on Canadian Romper Room while in northern California, and he wrote her a fan letter, asking for her photo (she is a very pretty blond) and telling her that when he was five years old, he was on the American version of Romper Room in the L.A., and was kicked off the show for being too rowdy! Fran wrote back, and the two began a long correspondence. Then, in 1993, Fran was visiting her sister who lives in Los Angeles and she arranged to meet Leo for lunch. They really liked each other and soon a romance began, despite a 13 year age difference! Eventually, Fran quit her job as hostess of Romper Room and spent most of 1993 with Leo in Los Angeles. Appparently, at the end of the year she realized that she was pregnant, and she ended the relationship, feeling strongly that she would hurt Leo's career, if Leo's fans knew that he had a young baby and an older girlfriend. Fran gave birth to a baby boy in the summer of 1994, and apparently the boy looks a LOT like Leo, with beautiful eyes, dark blond hair, and a charming smile! Apparently Leo is a very concerned and caring father,and is in regular contact with Fran and their son. Fran and Leo are also still good friends. Fran got married to a man named Peter Shannon in 1995, and all three get along well. I thought that dedicated Leo fans should know about this before it is splashed across the tabloids. It may come as a surprise, but shows that Leo is a very caring person, who is capable of being a true friend and wonderful father. Apparently he was present at the birth of the baby, and is a doting dad.

Do you eat the red ones last?

Frequency distribution of colours in a Smarties box:

Up with purple! Though it seems obvious they're inflating the value of the red ones by artificially limiting the supply, and driving up demand through the use of catchy jingles during the 1980s. Fucking capitalist pigs.

Here's my website at UNB. Linking it here might help Google find it.

I have a Smarties craving, so you're all going to get one, too.

That's right, have some more, motherfucker.

In case no one thought to look, here's Greg's secret home page.

Have some monkey snot



Found here, a site about Ecuadorian food

And Now An Important Message from the National Pancake Institute

Fuck waffles.

The double burger? That's for pussies.

Officially the stupidest toy ever.

I have to say I'm a little disturbed that one could find a little kid attractive. That one has the face of a 13 year old for crying out loud.

Hairy chests are good, but of course nothing matches a good website dedicated entirely to hairy backs.

via MetaFilter. Yes I'm on a blogging binge tonight. It's better than working.

high-tech pranks. Some of these are quite good, and it harkens back to when the Internet was dominated by university students.

And you don't know what you're missing if you haven't run your fingers through a nice big patch of curly chest-pubes. :)

a blog with some funny links, worth a look

I updated The Immortals Co-Opt talking about a CD release party I went to over the weekend for a friend of mine, includes a radio interview with her.

Hairy chests are sexy

Apologies for slacking off with the posts lately, it was a good vacation anyway.

Meanwhile, Star Wars Daffy.

"The quality of an institution of higher learning can often be determined by the size, health and behavior of the squirrel population on campus."

This blog needs less consumer fanboyishness and more cowbell.

via MetaFilter.

Someone needs to tell the Japanese that anime is not real life.

Gotta love the endemic dislike of lawyers among the general population, lawyers being the only ones who can protect them from getting screwed over by the system when they need it.

Oh well, people are stupid, we all knew that already.

"in the history of Germany's famed Nurburgring racing circuit, only seven production vehicles have lapped the track in less time than the Cayenne Turbo.".

It might look like a pregnant station wagon, but Porsche don't fuck around building cute soccer mom-targeted CRVs, for damn sure.

Greg needs to buy that '87 'vette so his trailer park boy re-make can be complete (pending the growing of a bad-ass mullet)

The "Happy to See You" Tree

Thanks to quonsar.

DEAR SIR/MADAM:

I AM MR. DARL MCBRIDE CURRENTLY SERVING AS THE PRESIDENT AND CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER OF THE SCO GROUP, FORMERLY KNOWN AS CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL, IN LINDON, UTAH, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. I KNOW THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOUR BECAUSE WE HAVE HAD NO PREVIOUS COMMUNICATIONS OR BUSINESS DEALINGS BEFORE NOW.

MY ASSOCIATES HAVE RECENTLY MADE CLAIM TO COMPUTER SOFTWARES WORTH AN ESTIMATED $1 BILLION U.S. DOLLARS. I AM WRITING TO YOU IN CONFIDENCE BECAUSE WE URGENTLY REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANCE TO OBTAIN THESE FUNDS.

IN THE EARLY 1970S THE AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH CORPORATION DEVELOPED AT GREAT EXPENSE THE COMPUTER OPERATING SYSTEM SOFTWARE KNOWN AS UNIX. UNFORTUNATELY THE LAWS OF MY COUNTRY PROHIBITED THEM FROM SELLING THESE SOFTWARES AND SO THEIR VALUABLE SOURCE CODES REMAINED PRIVATELY HELD. UNDER A SPECIAL ARRANGEMENT SOME PROGRAMMERS FROM THE CALIFORNIA UNIVERSITY OF BERKELEY DID ADD MORE CODES TO THIS OPERATING SYSTEM, INCREASING ITS VALUE, BUT NOT IN ANY WAY TO DILUTE OR DISPARAGE OUR FULL AND RIGHTFUL OWNERSHIP OF THESE CODES, DESPITE ANY AGREEMENT BETWEEN AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH AND THE CALIFORNIA UNIVERSITY OF BERKELEY, WHICH AGREEMENT WE DENY AND DISAVOW.

IN THE YEAR 1984 A CHANGE OF REGIME IN MY COUNTRY ALLOWED THE AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH CORPORATION TO MAKE PROFITS FROM THESE SOFTWARES. IN THE YEAR 1990 OWNERSHIP OF THESE SOFTWARES WAS TRANSFERRED TO THE CORPORATION UNIX SYSTEM LABORATORIES. IN THE YEAR 1993 THIS CORPORATION WAS SOLD TO THE CORPORATION NOVELL. IN THE YEAR 1994 SOME EMPLOYEES OF NOVELL FORMED THE CORPORATION CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL, WHICH BEGAN TO DISTRIBUTE AN UPSTART OPERATING SYSTEM KNOWN AS LINUX. IN THE YEAR 1995 NOVELL SOLD THE UNIX SOFTWARE CODES TO SCO. IN THE YEAR 2001 OCCURRED A SEPARATION OF SCO, AND THE SCO BRAND NAME AND UNIX CODES WERE ACQUIRED BY THE CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL, AND IN THE FOLLOWING YEAR THE CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL WAS RENAMED SCO GROUP, OF WHICH I CURRENTLY SERVE AS CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER.

MY ASSOCIATES AND I OF THE SCO GROUP ARE THEREFORE THE FULL AND RIGHTFUL OWNERS OF THE OPERATING SYSTEM SOFTWARES KNOWN AS UNIX. OUR ENGINEERS HAVE DISCOVERED THAT NO FEWER THAN SEVENTY (70) LINES OF OUR VALUABLE AND PROPRIETARY SOURCE CODES HAVE APPEARED IN THE UPSTART OPERATING SYSTEM LINUX. AS YOU CAN PLAINLY SEE, THIS GIVES US A CLAIM ON THE MILLIONS OF LINES OF VALUABLE SOFTWARE CODES WHICH COMPRISE THIS LINUX AND WHICH HAS BEEN SOLD AT GREAT PROFIT TO VERY MANY BUSINESS ENTERPRISES. OUR LEGAL EXPERTS HAVE ADVISED US THAT OUR CONTRIBUTION TO THESE CODES IS WORTH AN ESTIMATED ONE (1) BILLION U.S. DOLLARS.

UNFORTUNATELY WE ARE HAVING DIFFICULTY EXTRACTING OUR FUNDS FROM THESE COMPUTER SOFTWARES. TO THIS EFFECT I HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE MANDATE BY MY COLLEAGUES TO CONTACT YOU AND ASK FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE. WE ARE PREPARED TO SELL YOU A SHARE IN THIS ENTERPRISE, WHICH WILL SOON BE VERY PROFITABLE, THAT WILL GRANT YOU THE RIGHTS TO USE THESE VALUABLE SOFTWARES IN YOUR BUSINESS ENTERPRISE. UNFORTUNATELY WE ARE NOT ABLE AT THIS TIME TO SET A PRICE ON THESE RIGHTS. THEREFORE IT IS OUR RESPECTFUL SUGGESTION, THAT YOU MAY BE IMMEDIATELY A PARTY TO THIS ENTERPRISE, BEFORE OTHERS ACCEPT THESE LUCRATIVE TERMS, THAT YOU SEND US THE NUMBER OF A BANKING ACCOUNT WHERE WE CAN WITHDRAW FUNDS OF A SUITABLE AMOUNT TO GUARANTEE YOUR PARTICIPATION IN THIS ENTERPRISE. AS AN ALTERNATIVE YOU MAY SEND US THE NUMBER AND EXPIRATION DATE OF YOUR MAJOR CREDIT CARD, OR YOU MAY SEND TO US A SIGNED CHECK FROM YOUR BANKING ACCOUNT PAYABLE TO "SCO GROUP" AND WITH THE AMOUNT LEFT BLANK FOR US TO CONVENIENTLY SUPPLY.

KINDLY TREAT THIS REQUEST AS VERY IMPORTANT AND STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL. I HONESTLY ASSURE YOU THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL AND RISK-FREE.

Heading to PEI tomorrow. Pontificated on the subject a bit more in detail here. Ming: will you be back within the next week? Binnie and I will be home, much partying shall definitely ensue, so I suggest that you do. Quit your job if you have to.

Also, everybody knows Skeletor was the real star.

How much you want to bet that this is Japanese?

You can't avoid aging, might as well continue to be hip.

Let the record show that my entries in the "what your favourite album says about you" were largely non-autobiographical, and that I do not currently nor have I ever owned anything by No Doubt, or Eminem.

My feelings on Morrissey and The Smiths, however, are deeply rooted and will probably end up haunting me well into old age. And Phish are good despite their popularity amongst wannabe dirty hippies. (real dirty hippies have moved on long ago)

George W. Bush Texas Air National Guard action figure. Get it before EBay pulls the listing.

Incidentally, the GWB aviator doll that's been making the rounds on the net is made in China. That's patriotism for you.

What your favourite album says about you

note: blatantly ripped off idea from Tower of Hubris.

Nirvana - Bleach
I can't play an instrument or write a song for shit, but if you try to question my music taste I'll just say you don't understand the deeper meaning of it, and feel sorry for you.

No Doubt - Tragic Kingdom
I like my punk rock non-threatening and done over in fancy makeup.

The Smiths - The Queen is Dead
I wish I was gay so I could have something substantive to be depressed about.

Phish - Lawn Boy
Hoping someone, someday will ask me about my favourite album and think I'm cool based on my answer.

Led Zeppelin - IV
Someone once told me Stairway to Heaven was writteen in a couple of hours to fill out the time on the album. I screamed that he must be a liar, and that that must only prove that Jimmy Page was even more of a genius. Privately I proceeded to question my very existence

Eminem - The Eminem Show
I bought this album to show how cool I was. My parents were very impressed.

Add your own, kids :)

The Chronicles of George. Tech support the way we all know it:

"[user] is getting explannation mark on her  anti-norton virus  service."

The Chronicles of George. Tech support was never so much fun.

Formula One supremo Bernard Ecclestone gets prank called by two Montreal radio DJs pretending to be Jean Chretien, who manage to keep him on the line for 8 minutes. Montreal Gazette article; mp3 archive (scroll down)

Everything you see is fake.

The rabbit thing? also bullshit.

"So I thought about the story of the rabbit jumping into the fire and realized that Grendel would have wanted to give me every last little bit of joy possible, and I should do something truly personal with her body. I decided to make a fancy dinner with her."

(via memepool)

Your ball control sucks.

Not sure where the smoking nazis in the SpoFi thread came from. I feel like taking up the hobby just to spite those rabid anti-smoking types.

Meanwhile, the Globe and Mail says F1 bosses are denying that they're dropping Montreal.

All I know is that if I was Williams or Jaguar I'd be hopping mad since they went to the trouble of finding non-tobacco sponsorship but are getting shafted out of a race because of the wishes of a couple of other teams.

My SportsFilter post on the Can GP subject.

Between this, Belgium cancellation (one of the best remaining race tracks in the world) and the constant threats to the British GP I'd say Formula One's hubris is going to cause them to lose their core audience. The Can GP is also among the highest rated races on teh calendar.

/Makes a point to go the the Montreal CART race next year.

Pavement Terror! Do you jump out of your skin whenever a car backfires? Just hope this guy didn't catch you on film. Interesting photos of people reacting to his backfiring van.

via MetaFilter.

Deep thought time:

If the Vikings were around today they'd probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we had, and how we take it for granted.

How to install Windows XP in five hours or less.

via BBspot.

So you fancy yourself quite the gama',
Parade your skills on the net, who can blame ya'?
But play four games at once,
Can you accomplish such stunts?
If you think you're the man, try Arcadia

There once was a boy with a site,
Who's haiku's were clever and tight.
As hard as he tried,
with his brain nearly fried,
his syllable count could not come out right.

You've done ASCII art?
Were you proud of what you made?
These guys say you suck.

Linking to ourselves
Increases google's pagerank
thus, The Immortals.

In America,
Middle-class taxes are same
but rent's thrice as high

Step 1: Go to New York City with your wife.
Step 2: Sit on the street with a sign in front of you that says "talk to me"
Step 3: Make a web page about it.

AAARRR!!

your mouse control sucks.