Saturday, May 31, 2003

Prediction

Turbo10 will be bigger than google; jesus.

By al - 4:15 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

I shit you not



Let's all ride the short bus!

By TVT - 1:13 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Friday, May 30, 2003

Just Because



Kool Aid Man Sez: DRINK FROM MY HEAD!

By TVT - 8:47 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Whoa!


Ted is sooooo much cooler than Bill.

By TVT - 5:50 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Game Over


I'll simply agree to disagree. I figure my views are just as valid as yours. So you're saying you want the gaming companies to become richer by making more innovative games. I'm down wit dat. I'm done with this subject. I've already spent most of the day debating creationism vs evolution. =)

By TVT - 1:38 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Quick response to the response to the response to the response:

There are plenty of reasons to criticize the corporate control of everyday life. Bland, repetitive entertainment is near the bottom of that list when you include being poisoned by McDonald's food and corporate lobbying to make it illegal to label a food item as being GMO-free. (I swear to god this is true)

No need to have any call-outs as to who's hardcore and who's not. And art is good, it encourages innovation that can sometimes seep into more mainstream productions whether the big studios like it or not. See the recent popularity of unique films like Amelie, Run Lola Run and others as an example that brilliant directors from the art / indie world are capable of entertaining more than just a specialized audience if given the chance. The frou-frou art museums comment was rather spurious in that context.

Pacman (certianly not a 'drop in the bucket') was simply the most striking example. I heaped much praise on Grim Fandango as a relatively recent example of innovative gameplay. It simply wsn't the mass-culture phenomenon that 80's arcade games were. That was back before one needed to define oneself as a 'gamer'. This fandom around the medium itself would give Marshall McLuhan plenty to write about.

Speaking of popularity of games, Yahoo!'s online board and card games get orders of magnitude more traffic than any multiplayer big-budget studio game's servers. These people may not describe themselves as 'gamers', but they're still an important, obviously sizeable chunk of the market that isn't being courted by the big game companies enough. One would think the non-stop frenzy caused by the Sims would have clued in at least one or two companies working on the next FPS that maybe there's more money elsewhere, but so far it's not working out (EA shooting the golden goose with the awful sims online is showing how hard it is to actually support innovation when every creation is simply a financial transaction). Another interesting statistic about these non-gamer gamers is that a large number, more than half even, are female. Women who would never imagine sitting on their couch shooting bad guys as entertainment seem to love games like Acrophobia, and not enough resources are going into exploiting this market any further. This is short-sighted on the part of the games industry, who, IMO are too enamoured with producing the same sure-thing over and over.

One need not simply 'stop playing' when one has the option of examining how the product could be improved.

By al - 12:36 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

We loves you. My precious.



The latest comic storyline involving an Apple iPod (and the machinations of a madman) over at PvPonline has me in hysterics. Do give it a little clicky and read the subsequent pages won't you? =)

By TVT - 12:07 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Thursday, May 29, 2003

Mad Rhymes Ya'll


What's the only thing better than SPAM Haiku? You guessed. Gangsta Haiku.

Phat bank makin fool
Makin punk ass niggaz drool
Can't spell, I left skool

By TVT - 11:54 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

I'll trade you a penny



Disclaimer: I enjoy a good debate every now and again. All you normal people, please feel free to tune out. ;)

The issue of programmers whether they have "mad 'ol skool 'nix skillz" or are "journeymen" is of little import to me. Comparing past and present endeavours is pointless. It's like Damn! Why couldn't *I* have invented the light bulb? Cause someone already did it. And if he didn't someone else would. While Edison's achievement is to be applauded, it shouldn't elevate him into worship status. Similarly, while no doubt Tohru Iwatani was skilled enough to develop Pac-man. If given today's dev environment and was told to churn out Gran Turismo 4 in a few months. He would hopelessy be screwed. Pac-man is a drop in the bucket compared to how many people own a Playstation. Sony got a large chunk of non/casual gamers to get hooked. Which if you're a gamer - is a good thing. =)

There is a human quirk of perceiving "it was better back then". We all do it. Music was better "back then". The 80's kicked ass. So on and so forth. While I agree with your post and points regarding lack of innovation, Al. I don't consider the Golden Age of Gaming to reside with Pac-man or that generation's games. Pac-man while fun at the time is _fucking_ repetitive. Just like Pong. Just like all sports. Why do we keep playing them? Because they are fun. They are a leisure activity. They are something to do while we're bored.

Gaming can be considered "art". But I tend not to think of it that way. I don't see a reason why it needs to mature as an art form. If you make a game about "football in the groin" people will play it. I have absolutely no problem with that. Hell I'd pick up the controller and punt someone in the nuts myself! Keep the frou frou art critique in the museums and French cafes.

If you were actually a gamer you'd realize holy shit we've never had it so good! A total of 4 viable platforms: PC/PS2/Gamecube/Xbox and a slew of games. There's a lot of choice to be had. Simply because you've outgrown gaming or they don't make the kind of games you enjoy. Is no reason to jump on the "corporate america sucks, gimme the indie revolution now!" bandwagon.

I'm sorry to say. The dollar speaks. Arguably SEGA is the most current innovative game maker. Seaman, Jet Set Radio, etc. But if you look at the sales figures they sell low to moderately well. Does this mean gamers shun innovation? Nope. Just means the company missed the mark. Believe me, if it is *fun* people will buy it. Witness The Sims phenomenon - that one game boosted the percentage of women gamers by a lot. No small feat mind you.

2D fighters are an endangered species. The old school space shooters are almost extinct. I loved this shit. Would I like these genres back? Yes. Is it that big a deal to make me stop gaming due to lack of innovation in these genres? No. I've been through too many "holy shit that was fucking cool" moments in the past year of gaming to count. The average age of your gamer has increased from teens to mid 20's early 30's. People aren't stopping due to lack of imaginative games. Like I've been saying all along. If you think it's fun or worth your while, that's all that matters.

However, the large Metal Gear Solid paragraph has a few too many sweeping generalizations that I take issue with. But I'm gonna keep this post kid-friendly and refrain from turning it into an ALL CAPS profanity laden flame fest. :o) The point of this ramble is: Don't like the "sad" state of gaming? Simple. Stop playing. No need to cry lack of imagination. I can say the same about anime/movies, they've all been done before. I just don't really care. ;) That and if I said anime sucks ass I'd get a pretty nasty phone call from Ming. Then he'd force me to sit through a Kimagure Orange Road Marathon replete with A Clockwork Orange music and gadgetry. But he'd never do that. He's only capable of going to limbo. =)

By TVT - 11:27 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

2 cool for words



I suddenly want an old Datsun.

By TVT - 6:25 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

On the subject of games:

Popular games' production budgets have skyrocketed in the lasst 10 years, coupled with a corresponding decrease in originality. Games becoming 'mainstream' may have something to do with this, though I'd argue that there's still no game more mainstream than Pac Man was in its day. No game since has had the same kind of hold on an entire culture that Pac Man did in its time. Everyone knew what it meant to score over 100,000 in Pac Man. One or two programmers coding against the bare metal of the hardware they were given to work with were forced to be creative in the only avenue left to them, the gameplay. The opposite of this would be a game like Myst and its kin, where you had the ability to show beautiful images, but the constraints of the development environment, hypercard (like Flash, only 10 years before), were such that only a point-and-click snoozefest, where the goal became to see the next pretty picture.

The trouble is that in the art field, an artist must prove his or her worth on his own before being given any backing. Hiring a competent graphics programmer who's worked his ass off learning OpenGL inside and out would be like hiring a housepainter to paint the Cistine Chapel, technically competent enough but with no artistic ability proven so far. To produce a game back in the 1980 took no more than 5 people working on everything, similarly an independent film can be produced with only a few key production members compared with a big-budget Hollywood movie. I think the comparison is valid between movies and games, where the studio-ization of games has done for them what it has done for movies, turned them into a pure financial endeavour. You've got a few ocmpanies like Blizzard who can crank out a million-seller every 3 years, and masters of their field like Papyrus who do racing sims better than anyone, though this is more of a technical acheivement than a creative one. Faithful simulation is a field separate from the traditional mass-appeal arcade game.

However, you've also got an overwhelming number of companies trying to emulate EA's success, where making the game look good is enough to recoup your investment, and getting the game out the door is more important than tuning the gameplay. Going back to Pac Man, the most important part of the game is the speed of your character moving on the screen relative to the ghosts, the exact amount of time a power pill is active, the scoring lattices, that little secret safe area to the bottom right of the starting zone. All of these things are such fine detail that could have made or broken the game when it hit the streets. In today's game production environment there isn't even a phase set aside in the development cycle for such fine tuning of gameplay mechanics (Blizzard, Maxis and to an extend id are the only ones who have shown that they really think through how a game plays)

Take a game like Metal Gear Solid as an example. Looking at it from an outside perspective, one could easily surmise that the purpose of the game was to walk from one cutscene to another. The gaming press ate it up because of the production that went into it, and also because they can be bought fairly easily by good PR people. The game took so long to develop but in the end all you were left with was an updated version of Dragon's Lair. Try one method to get through a room, find it doesn't work. Try the next one, that works, your on to the next bit of eye-candy. Of course the biggest offender in this regard are the console RPGs, most of which seem scared to death to move beyond the 'find the key, find the door' gameplay paradigm. Perhaps this is partly due to the very constrained interaction one has with a controller, as opposed to the old PC adventure games, where you could get the cop in Police Quest to take his clothes off and then walk into the women's shower if you had the imagination to try it. Shenmue tried to capture some of the spirit of the old adventure games but again was constrained by the fact that all you could really do was walk around and click a button to talk to people, who would always say the same things in the same order in classic NPC fashion. Language processing in some of LucasArts' adventure games was surprisingly ahead of its time. Games like Day of the Tentacle and Grim Fandango (the last good adventure game made) really push the player to come up with new ways to solve problems to progress through the game. 'Find the blue key' isn't good enough, that's been done. But before LucasArts could have made Grim Fandango, they cut their teeth on the Indiana Jones adventures, Maniac Mansion, and others. Their timing was good in that they hone their art and became more skillful as their platform also developed. As development teams who grew in the 8/16-bit era move out of game production you are getting more and more kids who learned to program in Visual Basic rather than in assembler on their Z80-specials (sadly slightly before my time as well). Kids who don't bother doing something if there isn't a DirectX API call to make it happen (thank you microsoft and your single-handed attempt to dumb-down the field of programming). A kid who is given a small lego set and who has to make due with that for a while before he gets any more will know what he's working with much more intimately than the spoiled rich kid who has a room full of bricks bestowed on him. The modern gaving development environment is akin to this wealth of resources and subsequent lack of motivation to be innovative.

Again, similar to film production.

When a future art filmmaker is going to film school he must prove himself by producing short film after short film, mastering the entire process, to produce something that stands on its own. Game designers are not forced to learn the limits of their platform, and have the idea that they are making enhanced movies rather than intricate puzzles wher enuance is the key. The job of the game designer is to come up with a mammoth design document outlining every aspect of the game, on paper, in english. Then it's given to the developers, and they subsequently say 'this can't be done, this is too hard, this is would require custom shading routines'. (can we make it a pie? Pies are easier to draw). This is even before the money people start butting in with their ideas of how the process should happen.

The golden age of gaming is still superior to that of film, since games didn't have the same mystique as moving pictures did in the 1900's. It was enough to show some cowboys and indians running after each other to get people to watch. This would hae been the equivalent of an arcade game where you moved a spaceship around a starfield without really doing anything, expecting the audience to be so enthralled with the experience itself that they didn't expect any depth. Arcade games weren't given that kind of welcome, and had to prove themselves before showing up in every corner store in the country.

The reverse seems to be happening now, however, where you've got people who've just spent hundreds of dollars on the latest graphics card or game console, because they're told that how a game looks will significantly enhance their enjoyment. Then they try to fullfill this promise by purchasing games that will most fully exploit their hardware, wanting some kind of return on investment. No one would by plain old pac man for the x-box, even knowing full well that it would get more replay value than most of the game they will buy.

Essentially, gamers have been told to expect graphics and production and to ignore finer points of the game. You're supposed to finish a game, and go on to the next one. Game publishers have probably realized by now that replay value is bad for sales. (God bless Blizzard and id who can keep people hooked on their games until the next one comes out).

Game production needs to mature as an art where a lower-budget production can get recognition from critics and make an impact. This will probably happen on the PC platform more readily than on consoles (see: snood, jardinains) but it's still a long way off.

Talking points: We need more true adventure games, more arcade style instantly playable but impossible to master games like pac man and tetris. Less emphasis on hardware capabilities and less money. Also, a single developer should have to prove himself on his own before being given a team of journeyman programmers and artists.

/whew.

By al - 9:37 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Star Wars Kid: Reloaded. Apparently some dorks on the Internet (reduntant term, I know) feel so bad for this kid being humiliated all over the Internet after he left the videotape he made of himslef in his school's camcorder that they're raising money to buy him an iPod. This, of course, makes it necessary to make fun of him even further.

By al - 8:56 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

Let sleeping dogs lie :)



A good read and some valid points brought up. Gaming, by today's standards is derivative. Why is that? It's because it's evolved into mainstream entertainment media. Which by and large has "all been done before" . Music, movies, you name it, there are few innovators mostly imitators. You could argue that gaming is ruled by the big overbearing gaming companies who "know what's best for you", "milk the cash cow", etc. But the truth is, gaming is heavily ruled by commerce. If it doesn't sell, don't expect it to show up ever again. And with up to the second reviews on the Internet, renting, and word of mouth, it's very easy to try before you buy.

Grand Theft Auto 3 is THE biggest grossing game of all time and has a fan base that is equally huge. It provides the essential ingredient that all growing gamers need: violence and LOTS of it! =) Now I love inflicting shotgun wounds and pimping hookers as much as the next guy but... GTA3 is NOT for me. I have played it and I consider it very dull. Derivative, if you will. Yet a game like Metroid Prime, developed by a team of inexperienced American programmers can also be quite violent. Albeit, you're killing space creatures instead of humans but still violence is violence. However Metroid has one thing in spades - it is FUN. Hey let's take a classic side scrolling action game and turn it into your typical first person shooter. That was my 1st thought when they announced it. My 2nd being - utter revulsion. But I was proven wrong. Thank Jeebus! Is Metroid Prime derivative? Yes. However, both games are still fun depending on who you talk to. And honestly when they cease to be - move on. There's better things in life. I used to watch assloads of Hollywood movies. Now I don't. Why? No real reason, just lost interest. Both of those games are also sequels. And in my honest opinion more of a good thing, is *still* a good thing. Unless you happen to be George Lucas. In which case I will drag your ass out into the field and carve your testicles up with a broken beer bottle. But I digress. =)

There is a striving indie movement in gaming. Only problem is, it's limited to PC gaming. Since you need a big publisher to get product into console gamers hands. But the good indie games do get picked up. So rest assured there's no lack of imagination or innovation there. Mind you these are mostly concepts developed by junior programmers, freshly graduated and untainted by the corporate structure. Problem is - most of them flat out suck. --> opinion. :)

Will we ever see an event like the big 80's Atari crash? There's an outside chance, but rest assured it will start back up again. Why? People like shooting things. And the next best thing is shooting things virtually. Well ok, the next best thing is getting a REAL gun and shooting things. Which surely Greg and Snowman can attest to. =)

Phew! All that being said I'm knee deep in The Great Summer Gaming Slump. Happens every year, there are no good titles during the summer. Which frees me to pursue my other hobby - bling!

Or I could start building this...

By TVT - 10:28 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Bibleman Sez


*cut + paste*
"An open letter to those of cloth.

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law.
I have learned a great deal from your teachings, and I try to
share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone
tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply
remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an
abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the
specific Bible laws and how to follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my
neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I
smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? She's 18 and starting University. Will the slave
buyer continue to pay for her education by law?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male
and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Philippinos and Indonesians, but not New Zealanders. Can you clarify? ....Why can't I own new Zealanders?

e) I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should this be a neighbourhood improvement project?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some room
for latitude here? Would contact lenses help?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the
hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden
by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig
makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town
together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan."

By TVT - 12:55 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

No more innovation in the games industry. Something I've been saying for years now.

By al - 4:32 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

So I ran the blog through the Snoop Dogg Shizzolator (work safe) and this is what Ming was trying to say:

I'm back from my vacation." , know what I'm sayin'? n' shit. n' shit. oh yeah, I took a week off visit family -- primarily my dad in Toronto, know what I'm sayin'? There's nothing quite like driving /from Toronto." n' shit. n' shit. non-stop 'n without cruise-control fo' over 12 hours." Hey, I'm driving a nice sports hooptie! Hey, I can't feel my right foot! I should has flown, know what I'm sayin'? Anyways, I picked up some bomb diggity stuff in da T-dot, a cell phone 'n SARS tops that list (or at least that's my plan fo' getting out of work fo' another two weeks) n' shit.

Tuan, thanks fo' da tunes fo' da road n' shit. They really helped stave off bordom 'n nodding off sleep while driving."

By TVT - 12:01 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Monday, May 26, 2003

Random Sean Connery Sighting



...yes I'm staring at the chick with the rack, she's cute.

By TVT - 11:36 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Power to Weight


Promise me, if I ever get this old and senile that you will take me out to pasture and shoot me. Seriously.

By TVT - 12:10 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

According to Dante's Inferno Test, I am doomed to live the afterlife in Limbo. . . .

Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, and you find yourself upon the brink of grief's abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment. You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabout many shades dwell. These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle. There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad.

Maybe I should work on my sinning. . . .

By Ming - 1:34 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Oh yeah. Ming's Cell Phone number: 902-954-1427

By Ming - 1:28 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

I'm back from my vacation. . . . oh yeah, I took a week off to visit family -- primarily my dad in Toronto. There's nothing quite like driving to/from Toronto. . . non-stop and without cruise-control for over 12 hours. Hey, I'm driving a nice sports car! Hey, I can't feel my right foot! I should have flown. Anyways, I picked up some cool stuff in the T-dot, a cell phone and SARS tops that list (or at least that's my plan for getting out of work for another two weeks).

Tuan, thanks for the tunes for the road. They really helped stave off bordom and nodding off to sleep while driving.

This is starting to be a bad habit. I MUST STOP PASSING QUEBEC POLICE CARS WHILE SPEEDING DOWN THE HIGHWAY. As Tuan and Al so vividly remember me passing two transports with coppers hiding between them, this time I passed one leading a pack of cars at night. . . . It sorta went like this: Hey, there's a pack of slow moving cars. Pull out into the second lane to pass. Car. Car. Transport. Car. Car. Car with police markings. . . . SHIT! Quickly check speed. . . . quick decision: A. hit the brakes to slow down before they clock you. B. pass them and pray they don't pull you over. As plan A would be a clear and obvious sign of guilt, I passed them and motored on. I would have liked to know what the officers were thinking at that time, however I will gladly live the rest of my life without knowing.

By Ming - 1:26 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Bigger than Jesus?


And I thought Clark Kent was gay...

I just noticed from the pictures that Bibleman has 2 sidekicks of color. I guess God loves all His children equally, some more so than others.... =)

By TVT - 12:30 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

2 Fast 2 Christian



Move over Vin Diesel! Jesus is in the house! Woooo!


A film that is sweeping the country and impacting lives in its path. "The Fast and the Furious" has proven that street racing is a national phenomenon. Here is an evangelistic answer for those interested in fast cars, and the fast life. A drama that unfolds a story of the reality that there is more to life than what most people value.

LAY IT DOWN is an explosive drama set against the teenage world of illegal street racing. Ride with Ben Destin (Sean Mc Ewen) as he finds the way of the narrow road to eternal life through Jesus Christ. Once he finds this route, he encourages all of his friends to discover the same freedom.

LAY IT DOWN is a powerful, ground-breaking evangelistic film. Its compelling delivery and heart-pounding action make it a must see for teens and young adults. From the producers of The Moment After and Mercy Streets.

By TVT - 12:12 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Sunday, May 25, 2003



So I wonder how many of the usernames on the subaru owners club have the letters 'w', 'r', and 'x' in them. Oh wait, every single one.

By al - 10:16 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Fuck the red stapler! I want this. =)

By TVT - 1:28 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Saturday, May 24, 2003

E-bonics


Now you can always be up to date and impress hookers with the latest slang, thanks to UrbanDictionary.com.

Here is a sample of the fine poetry espoused by one - Sir Snoop Doggy Dogg: Fo' shizzle my nizzle.

(fo shizz-ul my nizz-ul)
Originated in Medieval England in the 17th century, this phrase has changed in meaning completely, from the orignal shorthand denotation of "Alas! An adversary has come upon us! To the catupults!" to the modern definition of "Please grease up my penis."

Old: Bartholomew, the dastardly barbarians are attacking! Foe shizle mine nizle!

New: Bitch step up! Fo shizzle my nizzle!

By TVT - 5:52 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Friday, May 23, 2003

In your face! Space Coyote!


Elevator to nowhere.

By TVT - 12:39 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven...

I WANT one: The Holy Grail

By TVT - 11:57 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment


Chevy's marketing division ultimately had a polarizing effect on the populace.

By TVT - 11:23 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Thursday, May 22, 2003

Oh, and I've been looking for the translation to the Styx lyrics, and I've finally figured out the correct/accepted spelling for the second line of the chorus. Instead of:
Mata ah-oo hima de
it should be:
Mata au hi made

That is all.

By Silent_G - 9:10 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Um, no, no homo-tendancies for me. It turns out that getting to level 9 doesn't require being evil in _every_ way, just evil in certain ways. So banging everything under the sun won't get you down into my cold hell - in fact, it won't even get to the live music. It's seduction, assassination, and other forms of treachery against God, man, or country that gets you lower and lower on the chart. And as I said - I answered every question honestly. Which is what disturbs me. Apparantly you don't need to _actually_ assassinate someone to join the ranks of Judas. You just need to be _willing_ to.

Al: No beer for me. But I like the car. Who'd you have to rub noses with to get your name on the side of such a beautiful mechanical beast?

By Silent_G - 8:15 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Damn right



And Greg, since you're headed to the deepest layer of hell, how's about celebrating with a beer? It's not like it can hurt at this point :)

By al - 6:01 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

A River Runs Through It


All high and mighty at level 9 eh? Proper spelling my ass. I spell it the only way it was meant to be seen - through the lyrical genius that is STYX!!!

Mr. Roboto audio clip
(from Styx Greatest Hits)

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto,
Mata ah-oo hima de
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto,
Himitsu wo shiri tai

You're wondering who I am-machine or mannequin
With parts made in Japan, I am the modern man...

ARGGHHHHHH MAKE IT STOP!! UNCLE! Uncle! Grant me mercy. No more I beg of you, just make Styx stop.... *sob*

Lucky for me Level 5 has a live band, hell, the only band. Bad pun intended. You may now beat me with a sharp stick. :) Anyways, my whole point about bringing up the band was that we have live concerts in Level 5. Live concerts attended by underage hotties. Like say, Hilary Duff, that is... assuming she dies at the tender age of 15. Man, Disney sure pimps 'em young these days. First Britney and Christina, now Hilary. Damn, that Mouse sure does get around.

Now where was I? Oh yeah, ok so maybe Chantal gets away with playing the "women in comfortable shoes" card. That's fine. We all have healthy imaginations. And for those of us that don't, I'm sure it's on the internet. ^_^ As for Greg: Have you ever been sexually intimate with a member of your same sex? Surely you must have answered truthfully to get all the way down to Level 9. And did you answer the hidden bonus question? "Have you ever outsourced work for personal gain?"

T Diddy <----- "A pimp is a good thing to be." True. =)

By TVT - 10:55 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

well well greg....*checks around nervously* ...aren't we Mr. homeowning badass...and as for your remark about me answering the "homo" questions, I am a girl and as such they aren't homo questions...rather they are "fulfilling men's fantasies" questions, and I'll yell the answer up from the 6th level, tell me if you can hear me above the other heretics and your stupid band....

By chantal - 8:53 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Well, well. If it isn't Tuan and Chantal, the Goody Two-Shoes. I'm the proud resident of The Ninth Level of Hell.
[snip]
This is the deepest level of hell, where the fallen angel Satan himself resides. His wings flap eternally, producing chilling cold winds that freeze the thick ice found in Cocytus. The three faces of Satan, black, red, and yellow, can be seen with mouths gushing bloody foam and eyes forever weeping, as they chew on the three traitors, Judas, Brutus, and Cassius. This place is furthest removed from the source of all light and warmth. Sinners here are frozen deep in the ice, faces out, eyes and mouths frozen shut. Traitors against God, country, family, and benefactors lament their sins in this frigid pit of despair.
[/snip]
I find this very strange, because I answered the questions honestly. Although Level 9 (Trecherous) was "Very High", I rated "High" in Level 2 (Lustful) and Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy). Disturbing. All of it. Perhaps I'm suited to read/write angry, depressing porn.

In case it hasn't been made public, I bought a house recently, with a May 30/03 closing date. It's a 30-year-old mobile home in the Hanwell Trailer Park. I'll be purchasing a shotgun, rocking chair, a front porch, a 16-year-old daughter, her 25-year-old boyfriend, a 1974 Ford pickup (to be put up on blocks and the engine removed and placed on the lawn), and a white T-shirt with mustard stains. I will answer to "Bubbles" or "Ricky". I'll be moving in early June. I'm getting a big, queen-sized bed. Lots of room. The Master bedroom (the only bedroom) is 14' by 21'. Lots more room.

But the ninth level of hell? I'm not _that_ bad. Snowman, if you ever read this, you've got to take the test. Damn. The ninth level. I must read that book sometime.

My first act, the evil bastard that I am, is to declare, once and for all, the correct spelling of "Thank you" in Japanese. It's "Doumo Arigatou". The "ou" in these words is a long "o", and sometimes written as "oo", or an "o" with a horizontal line over it. And "robot" would be romanized as "robotto". But that's to be expected for someone who lives way up in the 5th level of hell. Heck, you've even got a live band. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a girl to seduce, a king to assassinate, a family member to alienate, and a friend to stab in the back. See you 'round.

By Silent_G - 5:49 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Ferrari's are for pansies.

By TVT - 1:54 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

It will suck, yet I will go see it. Why is that?

By TVT - 12:58 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Domo Arrigato Mister Roboto!


Level 6 eh? Well I'll be jammin with Styx, so there. :P

Argghhhh the acoustic pain! My ears are bleeeeding!! Please stop fucking my ear!

P.S. You didn't answer true to all those homo questions to get to Level 6 didja? ^_^

By TVT - 12:52 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

just took the Dante's Inferno test...got ya beat tuan...I'll see you on my way to Level 6...and it was all worth it baby!

By chantal - 9:19 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

AC power cords aren't just for power anymore.

By al - 6:10 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

YES!

By TVT - 12:44 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Bastard Son of Stirring Up Trouble


By TVT - 12:00 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

I want one

First pics of the new McLaren MP4-18





The nose is much lower than modern F1 cars.





More compact rear-end, smaller body overall, lower engine. Interesting dorsal-fin type engine cover.



By al - 4:04 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Blame the Canadian Jedi

By al - 1:34 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Even Subaru is not immune from Hickdom


By TVT - 12:20 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Just don't ask about the Cleveland Steamer.

By al - 3:38 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Monday, May 19, 2003

The Joy of Collecting Crap


Remember when you cursed mom for throwing out your baseball card collection? Well you can thank her again. =)

By TVT - 11:31 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Sunday, May 18, 2003

One Word Matrix Review


Neo said it best: Whoa!

By TVT - 8:35 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

You are a riceboy if...

By al - 12:27 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

By al - 8:00 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

If there's grass on the field, play ball!





I found out recently that I'm headed for the 5th Level of Hell - stupid Dante's Inferno Test.

Level 5:
The river Styx runs through this level of Hell, and in it are punished the wrathful and the gloomy. The former are forever lashing out at each other in anger, furious and naked, tearing each other piecemeal with their teeth. The latter are gurgling in the black mud, slothful and sullen, withdrawn from the world. Their lamentations bubble to the surface as they try to repeat a doleful hymn, though with unbroken words they cannot say it. Because you lived a cruel, vindictive and hateful life, you meet your fate in the Styx.

Oh well, might as well indulge myself. Enjoy. ^_^

By TVT - 12:35 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Saturday, May 17, 2003

Freudosaurus!!



(In other news, hosting your own images on geocities is a pain in the arse.)

By al - 12:42 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Friday, May 16, 2003

By al - 8:20 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

For sale: One annoying twat of a girlfriend.

By al - 7:58 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Thursday, May 15, 2003

Work Sucks

Don's Boss Page: Everything you need to slack like a pro at the office.

By al - 3:18 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Feelin the Sony Love


Polyphony Digital, if you were a woman I would give you the wang. Aww who am I kiddin? *whips out wang*

By TVT - 12:27 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

RC Case Modding is the New Hotness


Those crazy brits.

By TVT - 9:45 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

BushCo Reams Nation Good. No WMDs after all, no excuse for war, too late for anyone to care anymore. Ha-ha, suckers.

By al - 8:46 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Baton twirling is for fags.



Watch this, and then this. Whatever problems you may feel you have will evaporate immediately.

By al - 7:42 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

Son of Son of Spoiler Alert!


Correction. Apparently, the sequel to The Matrix is a heartwarming tale of a boy and his estranged mathematician father. Who knew?

By TVT - 12:38 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Son of Spoiler Alert!


Agent Smith is Neo's father! You have been warned. Must not click The Matrix (Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure) related interweb articles...

By TVT - 12:20 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Harry Knowles Underwhelmed, Fat

The editor of Ain't it Cool News, that hype-machine that it is, the self-proclaimed biggest movie fan ever has a few things to say about the Matrix:Reloaded

By al - 10:17 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

Thought of the Moment


If we're really in the Matrix... then I'm gonna hafta start humpin women indiscriminately. *shit! forgot to use my "inside" voice*

By TVT - 10:12 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Spoiler Alert!


By al - 3:44 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

The official "I'm glad I don't have a nightstick up my ass" post

Recipe for success:
1. forget wallet in slumbering morning stupor
2. oh there's a cop car behind that tree
3. pain
4. calling the officer a dirty cockmonger
5. more pain
6. court ordered appearance
7. involuntary monetary re-compensation

OK, so I didn't get pulled over this morning but I did forget my wallet (a very unusual thing) and boy that woulda sucked getting caught in the donut district...

Oh and Al, please don't offend Ming's peoples. Them floppers can get quite rowdy. Hell, they might even cast Magic Missile on you, and you wouldn't want that!

By TVT - 2:26 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Shameless Link Re-Propagation & Urban Wizard Update

If Blackwolf the Dragonmaster is such a powerful wizard, why is he hosted on some crappy geocities site? Or completely unable to fend off Triumph the Insult Comic Dog?

Links via MetaFilter.

By al - 2:14 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Friday, May 09, 2003

Buddy Jesus Approved Thongs



By al - 12:53 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

You make a good fish...


Damn you, www.engrish.com for being so funny! So many wasted hours on the interweb, but it's all good.

By TVT - 12:49 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Thursday, May 08, 2003

Yeah, I'd definitely wuss out.

By TVT - 10:35 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Happy Happy Joy Joy


My new toys came in! Woo!

By TVT - 10:08 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Ummm... bewbies



Out of Masks and Scared of SARS? Try a Bra.

Thu May 8, 2003 09:19 AM ET
TAIPEI (Reuters) - Villagers in southern Taiwan are strapping bras to their faces to guard against the deadly SARS virus due to a shortage of surgical masks.
'I went to every pharmacy in the village and it's impossible to find a proper mask,' a middle-aged man told cable television on Thursday, his face partially covered by a dark red cup.

'Somebody came up with this idea so I decided to give it a try,' he said at a village near the southern city of Tainan.

A small bra factory is producing the make-shift masks, with workers cutting each of its colorful bras into two and sewing on extra straps to help the desperate villagers.

Face masks have disappeared from many store shelves as Taiwan's Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS) infections tripled in the past two weeks to 360 cases, the third highest in the world after China and Hong Kong.

By TVT - 2:35 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Enjoy pimpin' out your ride but dislike the attendant drinking, profanity, and sexual promiscuity? Then get Jesus to build your hotrod! Let your soul-light shine through your GroundFX when you join the Holy Rollerz. If you're more of a greaser than a pimp, then check out the Cruise-saders, the Solid Rock Cruisers, or the Rolling Disciples. Maybe you're not so much into the looks? Lay a patch or two with Christian Motorsports
or the Jesus Christ Racing Team's CHRISTMOBILE 2002!

via Memepool.

By al - 12:34 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

By TVT - 2:35 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Public Washroom Etiquette


Tip of the Day: If wang in hand. Don't talk to the man.

That is all.

By TVT - 12:23 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment








Get the full experience

By al - 8:52 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Type aRse




The wing is a given, mock me if you must, the wing is rock solid (well maybe), the wing is sound. The logo opposite the Ford blue oval - that's amusing.

By TVT - 8:44 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

Random Emotion of the Day



Grrrr!

By al - 8:18 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

I visited friendsofrabbits.org, just to see if they really existed. They do. I can proudly say that I've rescued some rabbits in my day. Most would have been eaten by wild animals, but I trapped them, killed them (if they didn't die from the Newfoundland winter nights), and brought them home, where they were skinned, cooked, (perhaps bottled), and eaten, all in the safety of my home. Unlike those Subaru owners, who would allow such an animal to starve or be eaten by wild animals....

By Silent_G - 7:06 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

LOL. Fine. I'll show the world the glory of my wang:

I know. Bad joke. I'm really milking my wang for all it's worth, aren't I?

By TVT - 1:09 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Oh, not only would I show her my wang, I'd show her yours too.

By Silent_G - 12:44 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Would you show her your wang? Are you saying she's wang-worthy?

By TVT - 12:25 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Regarding the J-girl in front of the Subaru:

She's hot. I should get me one of those. They look like fun.

That is all.

By Silent_G - 10:33 AM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Monday, May 05, 2003

Mah Boys! *kiss left fist, kiss right fist* =)

By TVT - 11:50 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Sweet crap! www.subaruwedding.com There are women in this world that have seen the light? I'm speechless, really.

By TVT - 11:36 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

I actually found the lesbians / subarus article a rather interesting marketing piece. I still don't think they beat the Audi TT as the official car of the, err, other team. :)

By al - 8:35 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

In response to Al's post, tis true. And that's ok with me, bring on the honeys. =) We also ditched Crocodile Dundee for Lance Armstrong, a Tour de France winner with one nut (testicular cancer). This is more disturbing though. Damn animal rights activitists. Animals = Food. End of conversation.

Greg, maybe we should reconsider that trip to Japan.

"Do you come with the car?" Tee Hee ^_^

By TVT - 6:20 PM | (0) comments | Post a Comment

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