Wednesday, April 30, 2003

And I so wanted a free ride... stupid SARZ.

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Jedi Update


Porkins has an action figure!!! I must own him.

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Uncle Ben's



Now all we need is a Geo Metro with a Formula 1 wing duct taped to it. Maybe I spoke too soon? I also dig the Engrish decals. ^_^

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There is nothing wrong with picking up French hookers. As long as you call them Freedom hookers. That is all.

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Tuesday, April 29, 2003

Consider the horse beaten!



JC: Are you staring at my wang?
RCMP: Must... not... look...

By TVT - 12:40 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Monday, April 28, 2003

Stay on Target!



Today being The National Day of Mourning. We must take the time to remember our fellow comrades who have died in the workplace. I for one, would like to give a "shout out" to my main man - Jek Porkins.

I think it only fitting to declare this day to be Porkins Appreciation Day. Why? Because he was a man doing his job. That's why. He proved that fat people are not to be scoffed at. He was one with the Light Rich Buttery Creamy Side of The Force.

Though Porkins was a highly skilled rebel pilot. Some sources say he was actually reaching for a burrito he stashed away in the cockpit, before meeting his untimely demise.

Yet he stayed the course. When the going got tough, he didn't chicken out. His dedication was only matched by his appetite. When the turbo lasers were a flyin. This brave soul fucking stayed on target. Nerves of steel. Tub of lard. Truly - an enigma.


Jek Porkins - deceased a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away

I'd also like to take the time to give a "mad props ya'll" to my fellow slant eyes who worked tirelessly to build this great nation's railroad. You send a good fish, Misah Man. Preese send FOH more to house. Sank you. Canada did indeed give you a bum deal my Chinese railway bruthas. You will be missed... =(

By TVT - 12:17 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Do it Fast, Do it Furious





What can I say? It was a bitchin weekend for car nuts like myself. =) If ya wanna check out more info and pics of us at the Speed Sport East Auto Show, they can be found here.






Here's G Dawg next to a Mustang. His dream car. Which he can't fit in. Yet he has leg room in a small Japanese car. God bless American engineering. =) This is also Greg shortly after he discovered the Internet had porn. See that blank stare? That's right. He's thinking about his wang. And more importantly - where he can put it. Here pussy, pussy, pussy, here puss... ^_^


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Saturday, April 26, 2003

Don't you just love our money? =)

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Friday, April 25, 2003

Mah Boyz


Wang and wang related accessories are all the rage these days.

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Thursday, April 24, 2003

By al - 3:49 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Ah Penny Arcade, you wonderful mirror of current events. With the proper gaming slant. Of course

By TVT - 1:09 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Tuan's latest pick up line:
*Place hands in air. Wave like you just don't care. Repeat as necessary.*
"Hey baybee, I gots tha SARZ, wonna fock?"

By TVT - 12:35 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

If you were a woman, I would give you the wang.

By TVT - 12:06 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Tuesday, April 22, 2003

Dear new girl at work, I love your boobies. You also have a nice ass. May I show you my wang?

By TVT - 11:45 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Monday, April 21, 2003

Got Wang?


The Hello Kitty Vibrator. So wrong. Yet so very right.

By TVT - 11:24 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

SARS fashion update

Forget the Hello Kitty SARS mask, now you can be paranoid and still look good with the knockoff Burberry SARS mask.

By al - 10:29 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Pocky II: Son of Pocky



Chantal, curse you and your easily affordable Korean electronics!!! 4 megapixels?! Arghh and here I am stuck with this 2 megapixel dealie. =) Oh well. On with the show!

So I ventured into The Friendship Store after the previous night's unadulterated slaving fan boy Chow Yun Fat worshipping. A tale that will be recalled in the not too distant future. For now you'll hafta make due with this. Since, Unkie Tuan's a little woozy huffing the fumes from vinyl restorer and assorted car care products whilst spring cleaning his baby.

Anyhoo, I'm getting off-topic. Permit me to direct your attention towards Exhibit A.


Here we see the infamous chocolate bread stick delicacy known simply as Pocky. To the left of Pocky, we have an intriguing item from Glico (the bringers of Pocky) creatively titled Kittyland. Why did I pick this up, never having tasted it? One can only surmise it had something to do with curiosity, the cat, and being in close proximity to Pocky.

And last, due to an impulse buy, a rare delight from the Far East. I hear talk of the slant eyes worshipping this mystical foodstuff. In some corners of China it rivals rice itself in popularity. I knew I had to try this natural wonder of fruity goodness, this God among Candies, this... Jorry Rancha.

From my limited knowledge of Japanese (which I gleaned from anime and Japanese porno) as near as I could tell. Kittyland is indeed, made from 100% real kittens.


Now if you'll excuse me. I must grow large with Pocky.

By TVT - 9:46 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

SARS and second-degree sunburns? Don't forget terrorists. Happy travels :)

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Sunday, April 20, 2003

Breakfast update

Throwing some of that left-over havanero salsa into your omlette in the morning might seem like a good idea at the time. But trust me on this one, leave the salsa in the fridge and go straight for the nice, bland cheddar cheese instead. You'll thank me for this advice some day. Just be glad you didn't have to learn the hard way yourself.

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All Your Nuts Are Belong To Us



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G Dawg, make sure you're on the right ladder. =)

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Rice update

Fredericton Rice Chronicles: account of the rather disproportionate amount of riced-up vehicles in this great city. I've seen a couple of these for sure. Nothing formerly owned by Tuan or his brother seem to have made the cut, however :) (giant Honda decals notwithstanding)

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Friday, April 18, 2003

Rise fwom yo gwave!



Everyone and their dog wants to get with SEGA's fine piece of ass, ummmm, I mean... "intellectual property". Electronic Arts wants to do a publishing deal since Squaresoft told them it was "over" and never to call her again. Sammy is rushing their merger plan through at their next shareholder meeting. And Microsoft being the wonderful pimp that they are just wants to "buy SEGA out" so that she may turn tricks by midnight.

By TVT - 12:38 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Nerd update

Namco wants to merge with Sega, VF vs. Tekken? I can handle that.

By al - 8:50 a.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment



Dammit. Looking at those Japanese twins are giving me wood. Down boy! Down!

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Thursday, April 17, 2003

Greg, you sly dog, I had a feelin' =)

By TVT - 6:35 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Bunnyrabbits, satan, cheese and milk

The program MusicMatch Jukebox lets you record stuff from a microphone into mp3 format. It saves them under a default filename, and so if people unwittingly share them over kazaa they can be a source of endless amusement. Mic In Tracks

By al - 12:46 a.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Wednesday, April 16, 2003

If it weren't for Gran Turismo...



Well Sony has decided to screw me yet again! Sigh. See here.

By TVT - 3:40 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Maybe you've read it before, if so, consider it spam and move on:

MAN vs WOMAN

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women
differ so much. I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And I
never have figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
Also, I never have figured out how sexual desire gets thrown into a state of
turmoil when it hears the words, "I do."
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she then says, "I don't feel like it, I
just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT?!"

So she says the words that I and every other husband on the planet dreads.
She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman.

I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realized that nothing is
going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.

The very next day the we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store...

I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She
couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them.

She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 each to which I
say, "OK." And then we go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you ...she was so excited! She must have
thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she
cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet
because she doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when
I told her that it was OK.

She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen
her face when she said, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey. I don't feel
like buying all this stuff now."

You should have seen her face ... it went completely blank. I then said,
"Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
Just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must
not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."

I figure that I might be having sex again sometime during the Spring thaw of 2003.

By TVT - 1:49 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

It's a bike, I swear



This tickled my funny bone along the same lines as Ming's Dynasty... =)

By TVT - 6:29 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Checkers anyone?


By TVT - 6:20 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

By TVT - 1:11 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Novelty Rocker Blog Update

BNL Blog.

By al - 9:48 a.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Road trip! Road trip! Yeah, the weekend of the 26th sound good. I talked to my dad in Toronto, apparently things aren't too great up that way especially if you're asian. . . . oh, something about SARS. . . .

That out of the way, I'll be in Grand Falls for Easter. Back to find out if I still have a job. Then, either I start the job search or take a vacation.

On a totally unrelated note, I just changed my winter tires for my all-seasons. . . . what happens? Damn @#$%ing snow. Greg, can I borrow a gun to hunt Mr. Murphy?

By Ming - 1:37 a.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Monday, April 14, 2003

One of the odd benefits of living with someone who's spent considerable time in the Far East is getting first-hand knowledge of the strangest martial arts movies ever.

Like, for example, Tai-Chi Master, Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh doing, yes, tai-chi.

On the other hand, the Once Upon a Time in China series has a couple of gems in there. Very "Crouching Tiger", actually.

By al - 4:07 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Yes I worship at the Temple of Fat



Bulletproof Monk
Is it cheesy? Yes.
Is it "Anna and the King" cheesy? Let's hope not.
Does Chow shoot guns? Yes.
Does Chow reload? No.
Is this a good thing? Very much so.
Are you as cool as Chow? Hell no.
Will you ever be as cool as Chow? Probably not.
Does Chow get killed off in this one (yet again)? We'll see.
Did Greg preview it? Yes
Will I go see it? Fuck yeah. It's Chow-tastic!

By TVT - 3:29 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Welcome back to the stage of history


Ah Soul Calibur... good times... good times... if only Ming would stop playing "the girl with the pointy stick" and stop jabbing me constantly. But I digress. =)

I found this blurb over at Penny Arcade amusing enough to share with you gamers out there:

Soul Calibur 2 is like seeing your girlfriend again after she has been gone for a few weeks, only she changed her hair color while she was away. She is familiar but at the same time a little bit different. You know this girl but there is something new there, Something that comes from being reunited after a long separation, something exotic that comes form a slightly new appearance, and you get butterflies in your stomach that haven't been there since you started dating. You know this game. The controls feel familiar to you and the same combos and patterns you used before still work but there is something different. You can't pin it down to one thing but the game feels exciting again and you get butterflies in your stomach that haven't been their since the Dreamcast.

I'll be picking up the Gamecube version since Link from Legend of Zelda is in it. Fan-tastic is the word I'm looking for. Heihachi is the exclusive character on the PS2 and Spawn (of all things) is the extra on the Xbox.

By TVT - 12:50 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Sunday, April 13, 2003

Not slowing down enough during turn 3 of the Brazilian GP, that's insane. =) or stupid, one or the other. Smacking head on into a tire is also silly.

By TVT - 7:46 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Oldie but a goodie

Insanity Test: If you can look at this without laughing you're not insane. (requires sound)

By al - 12:28 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Saturday, April 12, 2003

So sue me, I find this amusing :-)

By TVT - 11:14 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

I was actually rather impressed with what they did to the Sentra, love the last pic, with the guy in the helmet, you'd hardly recognize it as a passenger car.

Link: Virtua Pikey (Snatch surrenders)

By al - 7:03 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Actually they did the exact opposite of "ricing up" the Sentra and unleashed it's performance. :) Though I wouldn't recommend Greg stripping down the Civic. Wait. Scratch that. I do recommend Greg strip down the Honda. :)

As for Monkeytown anytime is fine with me. I'm anxious to hear the "story" and thusly put my own spin on it, of course. :D

By TVT - 5:38 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Just say no to ricing up your Sentra. via /.

By al - 8:17 a.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Nibbles 2: electric boogaloo.

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Friday, April 11, 2003

Normally I'd say Fuck the Po-lice! But I can't help being attracted to this one for some odd reason. :D

By TVT - 6:12 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

I am reminded of Greg all of a sudden. :)

By TVT - 5:01 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Thursday, April 10, 2003

Homestar Runner because too much of a good thing is an awesome thing.

After you've watched a few of the cartoons be sure not to miss the Strong Bad E-Mails.

Best. Use of Flash. Ever.

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Wednesday, April 09, 2003

*holding skull* Alas poor Mingus I knew him well... =)

By TVT - 4:56 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

We can timeshare a cabin in the woods where I plan to run off to to write when I go over the brink with all this computer stuff.

Still not sure what I'd write about. Humour seems to be my thing, and music and art.. though humour requires you to be of the world, and not much satire comes form people who aren't deeply embedded in society itself.

I suppose I could always do a sequel to Walden...

By al - 4:55 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

*throws his arms into the air* Why God? Why? Why do you not like me? I work hard. I put up with all the pain, torment, suffering you throw at me. Is that not enough? Have I not suffered enough? Please take me away from this forsaken place. . . . *lights fade to black, cue music*. . . . maybe I should have written bad plays instead of working in the computer industry ;-p

By Ming - 3:32 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Or there might be a god and he just doesn't like you :)

Of course since ending a post without a link is sacrilage, Disney's deep dark secrets.

By al - 12:13 a.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Mingus, you still want a Gamecube? Tao wants to sell his for a PS2. Lemme know. And yes there is a God. He lives in a plantation in Hawaii.

By TVT - 12:13 a.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Tuesday, April 08, 2003

There is no God. I'm stuck in Atlanta until Thursday. . . .

By Ming - 10:04 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

8 porn spam in one day, a new personal best. Up from the average 4. Man this is getting annoying. Hmmm... urge to kill RISING! *looks at boobies* fading, fading...

By TVT - 6:18 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Hi-Res photo of the Z-Machine in action. Nuclear fusion is officially The New Hotness. Building my own Tesla coil is now no longer enough.

By al - 8:20 a.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Staggeringly weird MP3 collection over at April Winchell's blog. Everything from Hindi ABBA covers to hideous celebrity sing alongs from the likes of Hulk Hogan and Catherine "Daisy Duke" Bach. My favorite so far is the german cover of the theme music from Bonanza.

By al - 7:43 a.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Million Yellow Man March



I'm not sure if Peter's original homemade duct tape bag, he carried around campus, predicted a new wave in postmodern hippie fashion or was due to the fact that he had one too many Tylenols. You be the judge.

And yes I am allowed to call them squinty-eyed. It's in the AZN-Brutha Handbook. Chapter 14. Article 27. Words and terms deemed offensive by the general populace and used by "Round-eyes" to further bring 'The Yellow Man' down. Shall be used freely, in good nature, as a casual greeting to further "The Cause".

By TVT - 12:49 a.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Like Subaru, only with Lego parts. I wish I had the skill to pull this off.

By TVT - 12:35 a.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Monday, April 07, 2003

Like dominoes, only with car parts. Cool Honda TV ad running in the UK right now: 56k | 100k.

Apparently done all in one take with the only CG bit being the flame.

By al - 9:44 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Rhymes with hockey



This strip reminds me of the time at work when I had some of Scott's sugar frosted jujubes... from hell. I swear I nearly collapsed to the ground as my liver violently convulsed and cried out "Screw you and your damn horse! Bitch. I'm leaving you for an alcoholic."

I don't know how the man sat there and popped round after round of those vile, sickly, sweet, diabetes-inducing confectionaries. Scott has no liver. He's more sucrose than man, now.

Apparently he also has no taste buds. My current working theory is that they were burnt off by a cigarette butt while he was held hostage by irate chimpanzees in 'Nam. I'm guessing the primates were also succesful at removing his liver. It should be in Hong Kong by next Friday at the latest.

For those in Fredericton who actually want to taste the sweet sweet nectar that is the Pocky stick, venture forth to the Chinese store (AKA Greg's favourite spot to - "get his mack on") near campus on Regent St. and close to the Harveys. Oh and you folks in Korea might be able to source these through your squinty-eyed friends as well.

I assure you they do not have an edible wrapper, unlike the similarly asian-themed Rabbit Candy.

In related news, my brother informs me of the death of the beloved Beaver Buck. I guess they were renamed Chartwell Cash before going to a high tech debit card system christened Chartwell Credit. Easily photocopied Beaver Buck, you will be missed. *sniff*

By TVT - 2:04 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

This minor time shift has left me all kinds of messed up. I walk outside to find cats chasing dogs, water running up hill, and a strange hankering for fruit loops, I mean men. Shit. I mean fruits, ummm... I mean boobs. Definitely boobs. Phew! That was a close one. What can this all mean?

By TVT - 12:53 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Sorry for the lack of update. My actual brother came home to do a tire swap so I didn't have much impetus to write anything. I'll rectify the situation as soon as possible. T out.

By TVT - 9:13 a.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Happy birthday, Astro Boy.

By al - 2:20 a.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Sunday, April 06, 2003

I have wisely decided to keep any valuable in my carry-on luggage along with an extra set of clothes, and other personal hygene items. Which leaves most of my clothes and any sharp objects which can be used to stab idiot US customs agents. . . . I haven't decided if that is a good thing or not.

By Ming - 12:21 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Ah, hell. . . Greg's got yella feva! *appropriate song and dance*

By Ming - 12:16 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Yo. I'm scheduled to fly out tomorrow. . . . assuming Julie makes it back in today/tomorrow and the simulator doesn't break or catch on fire. I planning on taking my vacation shortly after I get back. . . . the one I should have taken LAST YEAR. . . . I'm planning on taking a trip up to Toronto to visit my dad while visiting all the stops in-between. I'm currently thinking: Summerside -> Moncton (Ming-Ming stop) -> Grand Falls (Mom stop) -> Toronto (Dad stop) -> Grand Falls (Mom stop) -> Fredericton (Greg, et al. stop) -> Moncton (Tuan, et al. stop) -> Summerside (end of insanity).

By Ming - 12:11 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Saturday, April 05, 2003

Mingus when are you getting back? Tentative plans for a Moncton get together are brewing. Dates being kicked around are Easter break and the SpeedSport Auto show on the 25th-27th. <sarcasm>Meet Nascar driver Brett Bodine!</sarcasm>

As G-dawg put it: "If you can convince Ming-san to drop by, we can discuss our travels and gawk at the girlie computer renderings. Mmmm. Pixels. And Chinese Food at Half Price!"

By TVT - 5:00 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Super Day.

Everything you do is super today. When you're in the shower and you drop the soap, you won't just pick it up, you'll swoop down and do a supergrab for it. You also will brew a pot of supercoffee, superdrive to work and superfile some boxes of old files in the newly built archive room. Tonight you're going to get superloaded and superhave sex with someone on a couch because that's where the winner you superchose to screw happens to be living temporarily (19 months and counting). Tomorrow, you will not have supercrabs. You will just have crabs.

By al - 7:35 a.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Friday, April 04, 2003

Lousy Smarch Weather!

Meanwhile, the coolest mod ever is, of course, the NES PC with step-by-step instructions including using your old NES controllers. Load an 8-bit emulator onto there for proper gaming goodness, and never blow on another cartridge again :)

By al - 8:37 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Greggu-kun, I'm posting an IOU and the funny shall be redeemable this weekend. Speaking of which, due to the impending snow, I dub:
<Comic Book Guy>Worst season. Ever!</CBG>

By TVT - 6:32 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Glad you're making it back. Mah baby needs a mod chip. *wink wink*

Duc's returning... on a jet plane... don't know if he'll see his bags again...

By TVT - 4:41 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Hey all,

The end is near! I might make it back on time!!! Sometimes working over 80 hours a week does payoff. . . I just haven't figured out how yet. . . . . :-)

By Ming - 4:21 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Fried Rice



and I thought Moncton was bad... avert your gaze.

By TVT - 11:43 a.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Thursday, April 03, 2003

There are few things more glorious than a cake shaped like Alf

By al - 7:45 a.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Gamer Missing From Online Clan: Puberty Suspected

By al - 6:53 a.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Wednesday, April 02, 2003

Acts of Gord. The Gord knows all, sees all, and is quick to judge. This is what they really think of you.

By al - 9:44 a.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

Tuesday, April 01, 2003

h4x0r3d by p1g5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111







OMGOMGOMG!!! LOLOLOLROFLROFLLOFL!!

GR33tZ T0 t3h 0ld 5k00l4rZ!!!!

OMG tUAn!!!11 w3 p00p3d 1n j00r b33r!!!11 HAHAHAHAHHAAA




w3 t0ld j00 t0 gh3t u5 t3h ch1c0ry 4nd t3h h4y!!



W3 h4x0r3d t3h Hallway

AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ph34r u5 m0nk3y b0y!!111



w3 br0k3 j00r Int4rw3b!!!11



Ph34r!!1111







By al - 2:37 p.m. | (0) comments | Post a Comment

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