Thursday, June 22, 2006
I guess I haven't been writing very much lately. Coming back into the usual routine after travelling and the usual upheavel of a new job is making for a drought of easy material to get me typing. The 5 second recap is that some stuff happened that made me happy, something happened that made me less sad than I thought it might, and I'm finding myself to be a lot less willing to put in the effort to let external things bring me down.
There really is something to this meditation business. I've been doing it for a while now, and just getting the feeling that you exist, that you accept the fact that you exist, and that you exert a force on the world equal to the force it exerts on you really changes the way your neurons react to things out there in the world.
For as long as I can remember the buzzword among guidance counsellors was always "self-esteem". It was vital to ensure every child feels good about him- or her self by removing opportunity for hurtful experience. Educators, and misguided parents, have tried to build structures of positive self-images and happy kids without allowing us or teaching us how to lay down a foundation of simple self-acceptance.
Western religions even try to prevent this from the very moment we are conceived "in sin", before we even get here we are supposedly making the world a worse place by being the product of a lineage of an evil, overly-curious woman. The church as it exists would fall apart if people were allowed to accept their own existance as a wonderful, miraculous phenomenon.
We don't begrudge a pebble's right to exist by the side of a road, yet we feel ourselves somehow less an integral and necessary part of everything than the tiniest piece of the scenery.