Pizza Pockets are Gross

OK, kids, it's time for today's edition of “Al States the Obvious.” Why do people buy these? Have we really created a generation of human beings so lazy and inept that the idea of tomato sauce squirted into a roll now seems appealing?

And it's not like the tomato sauce is anything good, either, it's just ketchup. Would you eat a ketchup sandwich? Of course not. Does this idea sound more appealing if you rolled the ketchup sandwich into a ball and microwaved it, so the kethcup leaks out the bottom, makes the whole thing soggy, and makes the inside lethally hot?

How is that somehow better than taking a couple of slices of nice bread and toasting a sandwich? It probably takes a lot less time than waiting for the halflife of your way-too-hot pizza pocket. Kids today...