Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Dream Diary - No Happy Memories Edition

dream
Outside of head hall, at the back, meet v, v wants me to come with her somewhere, just to lunch, and takes off so I have to go after her, she's always just out of view.

The back door to head hall leads to a dark, musty and never-used passage way with stairs and a small door that leads to somewhere I've never been to. I hear a loud crash, which scared me, followed by a machine noise starting up. I get down the stairs and through a door to get into the hallway of the building, and move quickly through the halls to go after v.

The scenery is a combination of high school and university, with students doing very high-school things.

I get into a cafeteria that looks just like my junior high cafeteria, and v sees me and saves me a seat, so I sit down, then she disappears. I'm then surrounded by people I don't know who seem to be eyeing me with suspicion. .I don't want to get up because v was expecting me to save her seat, but she's disappeared. I'm then sitting there examining a mobile phone which I assume must be mine, but I've never owned one. The thing doesn't seem to do anything, but it is obviously an object of some importance as I'm afraid to lose it or have it taken if I use it to mark my place at my chair to get up and find v or get something in the cafeteria.

then the scene switches, and I'm outside my old junior high school. A woman with a motherly air about her, but who wasn't my mother, gives me a basketball. I just want to get to where there's a little net I can use it with, like I used to do by myself at home when I was a kid. Getting through the crowd feels like elbowing my way through a crowd of drunk people at a bar. After I get to where I want to be, people start trying to take my ball away, but I still feel compelled to shoot at the basket. So I have to take a shot, and run up to the basket to dive at the ball before this one other guy, dressed in a tan fedora, gets it from me.

I hear people say "You're not good enough, you can't have this." Not having my ball taken away has now become the most important thing, but I still have to keep throwing it at the net, and people keep trying to block me or grab at the ball when it comes down. Out of frustration with the people, I get get better at throwing the ball, until I can get it right through every time and just appear below the net to snatch the ball without much effort. But people still insist that I shouldn't have this ball, which has some great importance because of how I got it, or that's what I thought.

I woke up because someone I haven't talked to in forever started IMing me. The kind of person who is reliably stable in their life, but kind of boring in the nice, non-dramatic sense. I wanted to extract some kind of emotions-type answer out of her, beyond the usual small-talk, but none of the usual 'how have you been?'-type questions got me anywhere. The closest was when she said she missed me at the end.
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By al - 8:17 a.m. |

Comments:
People in general need to be more accepting and open. Many people go through life not having anyone to really exchange true expressions with. There's always No One somewhere out there though. No One will understand.
 
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