Ho'in It Up

Haven't really talked about the work I'm doing on the side in addition to my thesis work, since it's 1) boring, 2) not something I'd want the people I'm working with to google up. But I'm noticing that it's rather an addicting thing to work on such short notice, and to go straight to new projects, and work whenever I want, and avoid most office politics. The down side, of course, is the lack of job security. And the need to be productive, not generally a fan of that.

I'm noticing also the relationship between myself and the people who have gotten me work is such that I sort of feel like I'm being pimped out, only the old fashioned kind probably still pays more per hour. Somehow, though, I don't think I have the qualifications for that.

But it has its thrills, like having to learn how some system works in the space of a night because you said you were familiar with it. (Having used it a couple of times, 3 versions ago counts, right? right?) The waiting to be paid part is less fun, and wondering which parts of your work constitute billable hours and which ones you spent making coffee or talking on the phone. Also keeping track of this kind of income for tax purposes is torturous, and the reason why I always just let my actual employers take off whatever they wanted to and then collected a nice big surprise of a refund before this. Having to plan ahead and think "wow, I'm not actually going to get to keep some of this" is a new and unpleasant feeling. Not enough to make me become a Conservative, mind you, I just can't muster up the hatefulness, but I can sort of sympathize with those greedy turds who always go on about taxes now, while enjoying roads and schools and jails and all the other nice things we have.

At least I'm also getting a few more bullet points for the old C.V., and if I work even harder than I was before than going back and doing a PhD might actually seem appealing. Not sure if that's a good thing or not.. At this point I never want to write another thesis again.

Here's the solution to that:

Dear Self.

If you are reading this, it's because you had the thought that maybe you would enjoy going back to grad school.

STOP. Stop it now. You likely forgot about the complete lack of a life. You probably don't remember the only getting out to socialize once a month if you're lucky. You are certainly forgetting what it's like to go to the grocery store and give a shit how much bananas are per pound. You're forgetting how much your professors complain about bullshit committee work, idiotic selfish cheating students and Byzantine bureaucracies. You don't want that. I know you probably still don't know what it is you do want, but you don't want that.

Sincerely,

-- self