Saturday, July 24, 2004
Peter Parker: Pathetic Pansy
Gawker has pointed me to an article in the New York Observer, entitled "Stuff It, Emo Boy!" which signals the early death of the emotionally needy Peter Parker personality prototype, pertaining principally to pointless posturing and prissy self-proclamation of one's problems. While seeing the vulnerable, unsure side of a superhero has an undeniable appeal, something we don't get with Superman's dry-as-dirt alter ego or the impenetrable Bruce Wayne, the real life embodiments of post feminist male-ness, casually tagged "emo boys" end up being, according to the authors of the article, wholly unappealing.
In the end guys who wear their hearts on their sleeves appear to simply be whining most of the time. And a whole new self-centeredness replaces the old type, where now the woman is expected to, as Kirsten Dunst does in the film, serve as emotional dartboard for this new emotionally open male. The article aptly points out that it's this neediness that is at the root of why our neo-Kurt Cobain guy is no better than the insensitive clods that are the stereotypical males.
The reason why this scotch works for Peter Parker in the Spider-Man movies is that we know that he does, in fact, have superpowers. But your typical heart-on-his-sleeve not-fully-grown-up emo boy doesn't, so you're left with the simpering prick that was Peter Parker in the first movie before getting his powers, the one who stared longingly at Mary Jane, was a dick to his family, and didn't do anything to stop the dude who eventually killed his uncle. All because he was too self-centered to think about anyone else.
I don't really have a proper conclusion other than to echo what the article says about these punk rock icon-imitating boys. Perhaps pointing out that this leaves a big gaping hole in what women actually want now that we've moved past the stone-hearted cowboy and the soft little emo boy extremes. Being hopelessly out of fasihon at all times anyway it really doesn't affect me what the latest trend might be. I guess we should all just go back to aspiring to be like Brad Pitt.
Or the fact that the whole emo-thing is really nothing more than a different approach to appealing to women (or other men) in the hopes to get laid.
Or the fact that self-deprecation is really only repsectable if it doubles as modesty.
I mean, I might be only one person, but is it really that hard to see respect and tolerance as agents of social change, rather than exacerbating those personality traits that ultimately function as nothing more than character-pick-up lines.
I've now decided, for the sake of convenience, to just declare myself a lesbian and shop around for a russian mail-order bride. I think I should be able to do that now with same-sex marriages being allowed. I'll get a housekeeper and nanny, she'll get a provider and citizenship (and half my stuff if she decides to leave me).
