Tuesday, September 25, 2007

My Most Unhealthy Breakfast Yet

So last week I was running late for work and was really hungry, so I went to McDonald's (Oh Stratford and your myriad dining choices. I hate you so.) I usually would get a muffin or maybe an egg mcmuffin and a coffee. But I was especially hungry that day and thought I'd finally try the McGriddle.

It took them forever to make, it seemed like it was taking one poor girl her whole attention for about 10 minutes. But what I ended up with actually looked kind of decent, even remotely resembling what the picture looked like.

And yes, it tasted very very good and went through me like a waterslide, as McDonald's food has a tendency to do.

But, this post is not about that monstrosity of sausage and egg and maple-syrup-filled wonder.

It's about what I made today.

You see, I hadn't slept much last night, and was up and about earlier than usual out of sheer boredom with listening to the crows and thinking about what a miserable day it was going to be.

And when I have extra time I like to have a breakfast involving slightly more than the long-suffering bowl of Oatmeal crisp and glass of orange juice.

Today I had some sausages in the freezer I needed to use, so I figured a traditional time to eat such things was breakfast, so I grabbed those, threw them in the frying pan and set them a-go. Sausage and eggs and toast is a perfectly heterosexual breakfast, I thought, a good way to start a terrible sleep-deprived day. Instead of toast, though, I just had bagels, which is fine, they're a little heavy but bread is basically bread, now, isn't it?

One problem, I remembered halfway through cooking everything that I don't own a toaster. And I was thinking of ways to actually toast my bagel, the clothes dryer was out right away because I needed to clean the lint traps. Al Gore would be severely displeased if I used the whole oven to toast a bagel with. So, my nexxt thought was to slosh my sausage and soon-to-be-fried eggs over to the side of the pan and throw the two bagel halves on there.

Cutting to the chase, they take a long time to actually 'toast' this way, but they do a fantastic job of soaking up the butter and grease and runny egg yolk in the pan. Let's hope for the sake of our collective public health that fried bagels don't become all the rage once someone sees this post.

And of course, the natural thing to do was to stack the eggs and sausage together on the drippingly delicious bagel and throw some cheese on there for good measure.

I still made fun of my roommate when he got a McGriddle, though. Because everyone knows McDonald's food is bad for you.

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By al - 10:57 a.m. |

I think you can make toast by placing your bread or bagel directly on the stove burner, and it would make neat grill marks too.

That sounds like a pretty good breakfast, if you're trying to become elligible for triple-bypass surgery before the government does away with free healthcare. :-P

You get extra points if you used processed cheese instead of real stuff. Oh, and if you really wanted to take it to the next level you would have cooked the eggs in duck fat and topped the whole thing with southern "biscuit gravy".
I'll top it off with some fois gras next time.
"went through me like a waterslide"

So very true, and no one ever talks of it.
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