I Heart Halo 2

Five Excuses for your Sweetheart

Let's face it, some of you out there do not have a significant other. If this is you, go ahead and close this window and go back to talking to your 35-year old trucker pretending to be an 18-year old girl in some Internet chat room. For those of you with a significant other, November 9 may pose a significant problem. While I have the good fortune of dating a girl who actually likes watching me play games, many of you have a girl or guy who can't understand your fascination with shooting things on screen. November 9 has to be your day, so how do you get your loved one to leave you the hell alone on your most hallowed (or Halo'd?) day.


#5 - Fake Death. We don't recommend this too highly, but in extreme cases you may need to blow up your car or put ketchup on your chest and fake a stab wound. She'll cry, but you'll be in the clear once you've snuck out of the body bag. Head to a friends house and play some Halo 2!

#4 - Your IGN Gig. "Honey, I have the best news, I got hired at IGN! You know, that website I go to all the time and bitch about? Yeah, they hired me and now it's nothing but lobster and caviar. My first job is playing this game they sent me for free. Since we're now rich, go spend the day shopping. Uh, yeah, go crazy. I'm just going to sit here and work." This is also dangerous as you don't actually have a job at IGN. Sorry, but we'd never hire you.

#3 - I Love You. Take your copy of Halo 2, boot it up and start playing. Ignore your sweetie until she begins to complain. Turn your head for the briefest moment and say, "I love you sweetie, I'll be done in a second." Be nice and keep playing. Repeat until you are thrown out of the house. Should buy you at least two hours of play time.

#2 - Pity Me. I'll admit, this one was ripped right off of Scrubs (the TV show, go watch it right now). But I've used it myself in real life and it is incredibly effective. First, you have to have some type of infirmity. If you are lucky enough to have diabetes, that's a great one, but otherwise try and catch the flu (or fake it) or if you must, resort to any obscure ailment you can find by randomly searching the Internet. When you start playing Halo 2, let your love know that your ailment is acting up, that you aren't feeling well, and that you just need to take your mind off you debilitation for a bit. "Baby, my halitosis is really kicking in. Uh, I need a Tic-Tac and some Halo 2 and I'll be alright." Mmm... on second thought, just fake the diabetes if you have to (or earn it by power-munching lots of high-sugar snacks).

#1 - I've Met Somebody Else. It's a drastic move and one you need to implement at least two days prior to Halo 2's release but no more than ten days from release. You tell your sweetie you've been talking to someone from work who really likes games and how this other person (who ideally should be hot) wants you to come over late at night to play games with her alone. After some prolonged fighting and deep soul-searching, your sweets will feel the need to compensate for any lack of video game interest. This also works for sex, but this is about how to get your girl to let you play Halo 2, so get those thoughts out of your head. She'll let you play, she may even try to play some herself. The grace period only lasts about two weeks max, but for sacrificing some emotional trauma, you earn the benefits of her temporary guilt. A sure-fire winner.