I will not bash the Americans.
I will not bash the Americans.
I will not bash the Americans.

Aw fuck it. Who am I to steer clear of a good rant? Besides, this silliness is getting a little out of hand when fellow Canadians are jumping on the bandwagon. Although the quote about the owner of The French Maid exotic dance bar not 'stripping' the surly name from his establishment was worth a chuckle. I ran across another article referring to the French as cheese-eating surrender monkeys, a Simpsons quote, priceless.

Long have I bashed the French, possibly because of this. Actually, because it's easy and they have Gerard Depardieu and mimes. Fuck I hate mimes.

But today I stand arm to arm with my baguette-eating brothers and denouce this foolishness. For they have given us so much. Like monkeys wearing berets. Monkeys! Wearing berets! You can't beat that!

Here's an auto-centric view of history, America. You fought the Germans. They now have better cars than you do. You fought the Japanese. They have much better cars than you do. And I'm pretty sure Sony and Nintendo have all but brain-washed your children into upstanding super-soldiers raised on a steady diet of violent videogames ready to strike for their 'motherland' at a moments notice. <Japanese man hands Tuan beta copy of Gran Turismo 4> Ummm... about that last remark, America. Forget I said that.

Thanks for the Columbia shuttle pic, Chantal. It serves to remind me that the majority of Americans are not idiots. One last thing America, for a game that's called football. You sure do use your hands an awful lot.