Sunday, November 02, 2003
Instruments of Destruction
I tell you, gun ownership has changed me greatly. I no longer hang my head in shame walking down the porno district. Nay, I hold my head high! I now walk into establishments with a certain "joie de vivre". Indeed, I feel as if a peculiar "electricity" fills my every step. The kind that, up until this point, I've only seen The Duc wield with such masculine impunity.
Megatron never leaves my side. I even sleep with him tucked underneath the pillow. Always at the ready to vanquish the unsuspecting Autobot errr... foe. I lovingly refer to him as my "gat" and anyone within earshot as "foo'". Only the Leader of the Decepticons affords me such confidence. He is so inspiring that I'm contemplating more grandiose plans after my conquest of the Kwik-E-Mart. To that effect I have taken the initiative of writing a manifesto, well quite simply because I wouldn't be a very good evil despot without one now would I?
To wang, or not to wang, that is the question
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The wangs and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of titties
OK, I took artistic liberties with that last verse, but as Leader of the Free World™, I feel I have a right to do so.
That's all I can think of for now, lemme sleep on it some mo'...