In 1988 I was a senior in high school. I had a incredibly bad acid trip on some double-dipped, jumbo-sized blotter that was going around called "New World". I was alone in the middle of the night when the bottom fell out. It was terrifying � dramatic visual hallucinations, covered-in-spiders-feeling, body cramps, my mind screaming with it's own angst-ridden teenage demons... I'd lost it so bad, that the stories about the hippies that "never came down" crossed my mind. In my deeply-addled state I was absolutely convinced that this was what had happened to me, and I was now doomed to seeing the faces of screaming, strobe-light-flashing, cats (ala The Incredible Shrinking Man) whenever I closed my eyes.

Well, at this point I decided to kill myself, in order to just make the insanity stop. It was a perfectly practical decision. Since I was "perfectly sure" that I'd have nothing in life to look forward to but being a guy walking down the street grabbing at imaginary flies, I figured that death was the dignified way out. I'd gotten an X-acto knife out of my desk and was ready to slash my wrists when, out of the racket in my head, came a single, clear, gentle voice (with accompanying internal visual): Les Nessman.

It said: "When I get confused, I watch TV. TV is so [draws a square in the air with his fingers]s-i-m-p-l-e, somehow..."

This stopped me. Suddenly it all made sense. "Yeah... tv! Why didn't I think of it?!?" I flopped down on my bed, turned on my little b&w 13" inch television and found the most stupid sitcom available, and managed to relax enough to ease down. I spent the next 6 hours watching television and making trips to kitchen for color-coordinated snacks. (I.E, cheddar cheese, orange juice � milk, white chocolate chips, yogurt � tomato juice, twizzlers... color coordination was much more important than taste at the time.)

I owe the last 15 years of my life to that show's wisdom. Don't tell me there's nothing to discuss, buddy.