Master Your Joystick

Greg, why do I get the feeling it went a wee bit more like this:

Clerk: "May I help you find something special today?"
Greg: "Yes, I'm looking for a watch."
Clerk: "I'm sorry you must be mistaken sir, this is a gentlemen's massage parlour."
Greg: *embarassed* "Ummm. I like to watch." *thinking* "So this is what she meant by special. Oh crap, I got wood. Down boy! Down! Musn't - let - her - see - me - like this. Better cover myself with something." <grabs nearby newspaper> "Ah that's better." Riiiiipp! "Shit! That's the 2nd time this week."

<Flashback>
Yoda: "Screw or screw not. There is no try."
Greg: "You are most wise Yoda-san. But I cannot look upon the female body without getting wood."
Yoda: "Control, control. You must learn control!"
Greg: "I shall try Master, but it's difficult. I'm just so much bigger than you."
Yoda: <stroking light saber> "Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?"
Greg: *stammering* "No. No. No. I never meant to imply you weren't capable of using the Force. But Master, what if I take it slow? Ya know, put the moves on her."
Yoda: "Bah! Foreplay? Pillow talk? A Jedi craves not these things!"
Greg: "Yes, you're right Master. I'll try harder next time. But lately I've been having thoughts about Han Solo. He's just so masculine and dreamy." Sigh.
Yoda: "Ermmm. Yes. Most puzzling..."
</Flashback>

Porkins phat ride ya'll: