Friday, February 28, 2003
Good news everyone! The latest installment in the Harry Potter franchise will see our young hero battling evil in the 'hood. It is tentatively titled: Harry Potter and my foot up yo ass.
Thursday, February 27, 2003
First they took The Friendly Giant, then Mr. Dress-up, and now... Mr. Rogers. *weeps* Why God?! Why? *pounds fist into the ground* Take me I'm young!
I mean what about today's children? Have you even thought about the children? Who will they look up to for guidance? Fred Penner? Fuck that. Back in the day, his hippie show sucked. It still sucks. What? Barney, the TellyTubbies? You've got to be kidding me. Bert and Ernie? OK, I won't even go there. No wonder today's kids are so messed up. Trolley... you will be missed.
I would be remiss in my frothing Bandai fanboy-ism if I did not bring to your attention - The Gundam Chair. And yes, I want one.
Follow Your Crush Around Town Because You Never Know Day!
You have a crush on somebody but you're too shy to do anything about it. So how do you get your crush to spend enough time with you to get to know who you are and realize what a wonderful person has been right in front of his or her eyes all this time?
It's about timing. What you need to do is tail your crush every hour of every day until there's another terrorist attack. This way you and your crush can take cover in a secluded underground shelter (which you will have scoped out ahead of time) and as you develop makeshift technology, dig into the soil under the concrete for food and water, and procreate so that the future generations of man might rise from the darkness, your crush will watch you over the years and start to think, "What was I doing dating all those losers? None of them would ever have thought to distill our urine into an antibacterial ointment."
And that's when you make your move!
Happy Follow Your Crush Around Town Because You Never Know Day!
Wednesday, February 26, 2003
Ahh, Chantal's here. Perhaps she can explain what the hell is wrong with South Koreans?
Chantal, I would have to agree. Note the look of consternation from a millenia of being mistaken for... a CS grad.
....has anyone who has seen "The Two Towers" noticed an uncanny resemblance between Greg and the Tree Ents?.....maybe we should just call him Mr. Entstey from now on....
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
Tuan's introduction to Snowman's and my respective pieces did go pretty much as he said the "Ambiguous Style" report. But it's "Ruger", not "Luger". And if anyone's barrel is shorter, it's Snowman's, as his 114mm is just 1/100th of an inch less than my 4.5" barrel. In reality, they're probably the same length, just being reported with different units, without getting into an insane number of significant digits. But his is a bit thicker and blockier than mine. He's also got a longer recoil rod, but I compensate for that by having a stiffer recoil spring. The action is also different. He usually shoots in "single action", whereby only a little bit of pressure is necessary to fire, whereas I fire "double action". His hammer is exposed; mine is not. My piece is lighter, especially when empty, but the balance point is higher, making mine more top heavy than his.
For those curious, neither mine nor his is made anymore. Check out the Sigma SW9F and the Ruger P85 stainless.
But Tuan was certainly right about one thing. Don't touch a man's piece unless he lets you. But if he lets you, do so with authority - none of this limp-wristed foolishness, like you're afraid of it.
As a follow-up to my last post. Do take the test, won't you?
Monday, February 24, 2003
I see Greg has seen the DOA V-Ball commericals. . . . Final call for PS2 modchips. I'll probably be placing an order soon. Note to Authorities: I am not currently in possession of any modchips. Check back in a few weeks :-p
OK, it finally happened... I ran outta Cheetos. So enjoy:
I knew there was trouble the moment I knocked on Greg's door. Behind the door all I could hear was someone murmuring. The tone was low, guttural, like that of a beast. Hesistant. I opened the door... only to find Greg stroking his brand new 9mm pistol. He looked like a man possessed. Feral, ravenous, reeking of gunpowder. He kept chanting, "I am the Angel of Darkness, I am the Angel of Darkness."
The place was a mess. It looked like World War III had broken out and someone forgot to tell his neighbours. The walls were riddled with bullet holes. Chalk outlines littered the floors. The stench of death lingered in the air. Body bags strewn about. Hell, A smoking crater was all that was left of the apartment next door! Greg's only explanation was, "They are all against me. They all must pay!"
Snowman did his job well. Perhaps a bit too well. You see, he had gotten Greg into this little hobby and now Greg's better armed than the local law enforcement. By the way, Snowman's leaving town. Fully aware of the monster he is about to unleash on the public. Clever. Very clever...
A menacing gleam flashed across the newf's eyes, "See how easy it is Tuan? This is the trigger - and this is the thing you point at what you want to diiiieee!"
"Greg... put the gun down.", I pleaded. To which Greg replied: "From my cold dead hands! Bitch!" Then he jumped up on what was left of the coffee table and shouted, "Foo! you bes not be messin wit mah gat! Now dance mothafuckah!" He had me in his sights. I leapt for the shotgun lying on the floor. I knew the madness had to end... Here. Now.
A firefight ensued the likes of which John Woo had never seen. I dove for cover while Greg proceeded to go Chow Yun-Fat on my ass. I was deafened by the hail of gun fire. The last thing I heard before it all went black was - "No women. No kids."
Well ok, maaaybee it didn't go quite exactly like that. Now that I think about it. It was more like this:
So I was over at Greg's place and right away he proceeded to show me his piece. He was quite proud of his new toy and kept stroking it gently. He assured me the outer shell was made of plastic, not latex. And that it was not prone to go off in my hands. His piece was quite rigid and firm to the touch. Indeed. Greg had erected a fine piece. I was quite amazed by the heft of it for a 9mm unit.
Later. Snowman dropped by and they proceeded to discuss at great length, the size of their respective gun barrels. A war of words soon broke out, but in the end Greg finally admitted that although his was shorter it was about as thick. Get this. They even gave names to their pieces. Greg calls his "Smith & Wesson" and Snowman likes to refer to his piece as "Luger". Odd.
We all stood there, admiring each other's pieces. I took a good look at Snowman's piece and it was made of metal. I thought that rather strange until he assured me most men conceal their metal pieces. I asked why would you need to conceal it. He told me it was a criminal offense to wave your piece around in public. You could put an eye out...
The moral of the story? Never touch another man's piece unless he gives you permission.
DAMN YOU AND YOUR LAME-ASS POLL! I voted "is a woman", and was disappointed to find out that the poll didn't work. For the record, the internet asked, "Are you a girl?" Stupid internet.
And I _WILL_ play DOA Volleyball with Ming and Tuan sometime during my lifetime. That is a certainty.
Sunday, February 23, 2003
Greg, I feel your pain - sorta. I almost dinged the car. Only this time it was "Mr. Wooden Post meet Miss Front Bumper". Traction not bad on the street, turn into my driveway - sheet of ice. Lovely. Snow, I don't have any problem with. Ice, is just fucking annoying. My buddy's WRX wagon needs a new bumper after an encounter with ice. Hope the damage isn't too costly to the lower bumper, G. Peace.
If you can look at this picture without smiling you have no soul.
Hey! What happened to my dancing banana?? Stupid remote image linking... oh well, the Paul Tracy pic is just as appropriate, all things considered. Racing season couldn't have gotten off to a better start :)
I also signed a petition to save the Sailor Moon TV show many ages ago (a secret shame I'll never live down). Unfortunately, it doesn't show up in google anymore. And the Transformers petition worked! Who'da thunk it? Bitching works.
Saturday, February 22, 2003
As a followup to the non-working poll options.. have you ever searched for yourself in google using the phrase "
Here's what came up:
"Greg is a smartass"
"Ming is a 7 1/2-foot beacon of pride for Asians"
"Tuan is a little chubby"
"Sabrina is a busty brunette babe and she's available for your party! Call today!"
"Chantal" is a TRANSGENDERED oriented, ADULT web-site!"
"Aluminum (Al) is a widely dispersed metal being found in igneous rocks, shales, clays and most soils. "
"Frosty The Snowman Is A Right-Wing Plot"
"Tuan Vantu, Canada, Please bring the Transformers to DVD for a generation of old and new fans alike. Thank you."
I also got blue case fans cause there weren't any non-bling bling ones around. I hear it's "all the rage" with the kids these days.
It's cool Mingus, pretty sure we'll get Anstey to take up the chicken wing slack. Actually, my secret plan is to get him to eat enough spicy wings til he develops a condition known as "explosive diarrhea" commonly known as "the shits".
Ming if you ever start a site, it HAS to be called something along the lines of "Subterranean Level 5." No. Better yet. "Frampton Comes Alive!", It'd be a porn site about persons straddling subwoofers of course. ;)
How goes the mod-chip plans by the way? Note to the authorities: If you are reading this Ming <- has the DVD burner and Ming <- has the chips *wink, wink*.
Alright. I finally escaped long enough from work to find a nice spot on the hallway. As for wings, I'd love to. . . . unfortunately I have to work.
God forsaken digital voice utility doesn't work and one of my co-workers can come home until it's fixed. . . . Normally, I wouldn't be complaining, especially if it was my fault. Why is it not my fault? I got this project two weeks ago, and the thing was a complete and utter disaster. My boss: "Ming, I need your help with this. It has to be done oh 6 months ago. . . ." I hate FORTRAN.
That's enough venting for now. On another note, I just got my DVD-RW drive installed along with a couple of case fans. I haven't quite grasped the concept of why in the blue hell people put coloured LEDs on case fans, but now my computer sheds "cool" blue light as well as burn 4.7GB discs of sweet goodness. Why did I get fans with blue LEDs? Because they were cheap, and they just so happened to match my case.
Friday, February 21, 2003
I hope y'all are up for wings tomorrow. It is a requirement that Tuan and also Ming make the journey.
And I think I may need to check out Strange Adventures to see if they have those Muppets action figures... Peter informs me that they have Zoot, who, in case you were wondering, is the greatest of all Muppets.
Anyway, I'm going back home, away from the computer. I might check in tomorrow to see if there are any new postings, especially as regards Snowman or chicken wings or travelling for the purposes of seeing one or eating the other.
No. No menage. And anyone who smokes enough to warrant rolling them herself is in to the vice a bit too much, even if she were hot. And she's not quite right, motor-controlwise. She seems to have some sort of physical disorder. She seems fine mentally, though. But it makes rolling cigarettes even more difficult.
But hey, 30 seconds of fumbling with a girl's merchandise...a personal best! :-)
I have fixed my nickname. Seems my user name wasn't the default name. Oh well. This internet thing is weird. At least no one's asked me if I'm a girl. Well, no one's asked me recently. Although a girl (or woman, as they are sometimes called) in my apartment building dropped by tonight, asked if I could roll her a cigarette. After fumbling with the gadget she had which, supposedly, I presume, should make doing such things easier, for about 30-40 seconds, I gave up, and she left, saying that she'll wait for her boyfriend to get home. An odd encounter, as life goes. Now, why her boyfriend lacked the foresight to leave her with a supply of smokes, I'll never know. Or why she would take up rolling her own cigarettes when she lacks the ability to do so, I'll never know that either. It would make for an interesting philosophical discussion sometime. Perhaps Al would know. He knows many things.
Greg, click the "Team" button at the top. Click on your name. Then click [Edit my profile] in the upper right hand corner. And add a G to your Silent nickname for god's sake! I'm currently scouring the web for Dancing Jesus. You have been warned.
And just so everyone knows, I don't intend to update my site. That would be wrong. I only signed up to see and post to the madness that is Tuan. Not to start my own madness.
Woohoo! It seems that I wasn't invited the first time around. Hmmm. My blogspot goes by the name "I Trusted the Government". The address is beothuk.blogspot.com. Some of you will get that reference on a couple of different levels. Others will not. And for that, I deeply apologize. Well, not really.
THIS IS COOL! I can rant for hours like this! Wow!
Hmmm. I just ran out of useful things to say. Hmmm. Uh....um....back to work.
MSN Messenger quote of the moment:
"Snowman! says: I said dark. not cheeseball!"
Don'tcha just love stuff when it's out of context?
Regarding Greg and Chantal's emails and the fact that Snowman is leaving I found the message at tuan.com quite prophetic...
Don't worry I took the liberty of looking up the rest of ya. :)
greg.com - I won't comment too much. You've suffered in silence for long... Shit. I mean... for awhile now. There, there, friend, it's ok. You can still live a normal life.
chantal.com - Yes we know you're not just for cookware anymore... and
cum sound like a freight train. What?! It's NOT a porn site? Sorry, my bad. :)
peter.com - Yer site's busted dude. So I tried huggybear.com and all was well. :)
ming.com - That picture is a frikkin dead ringer for our 'ol pal Mingus is it not?
geoff.com - Still under development eh? Typical engineers, rule the fucking world my ass.
chris.com - I'm surprised you haven't registered snowman.com. I was half expecting a Christmas or greeting card site. Well, a porn site at the very least. And yes Snowman I am also deeply saddened by the death of Jam Master Jay.
jayme.com - Well, well, well. Apparently our good friend Jayme... <in best Austin Powers voice> is a MAN baybee!
alex.com - Yes I'm well aware I'm still on dial-up, thank you very much...
dorian.com - Good gawd man! You need better taste in music. Seriously. Opera? Yeesh...
scott.com - Smitty... your site is quite gay. Trust me on this one.
sabrina.com - Too girly. Needs work. :)
Since these links'll end up in the Archive later. I wonder how many of them well ultimately become assimilated by that wonderful thing I like to call... porn.
Almost forgot, met Peter yesterday. Money changed hands as payment for getting him ANIMAL!!! Sorry, Animal, from the Muppets action figure line. I've steered clear of the Muppets, up until this point. But Rizzo the Rat I must say, is the shat. I'd be tempted to get Gonzo, but quite frankly, his chicken fetish scares me.
If you guys haven't downloaded Macross Zero from Kazaa already. Do it. Now. Don't argue, just drop whatever you're doing and peep THE most gorgeous animation since Macross Plus. Geoffie, you'll be happy to hear the F-14 and Mig-21 make an appearance. :) Haven't seen an SU-27's yet, but keeping fingers crossed. The transformation sequence for the VF-0 prototype valkyrie - alone - is worth the price of admission. Aw who am I kidding, it's frikkin free. So go get it.
Also, the Ghost In The Shell TV series is quite good. I can't wait til the sequel comes out.
All this Fast & Furious 2 news got me thinkin about Greg's penchant for speed and Ming's new Dell. Click here dude! :)
Thursday, February 20, 2003
Colin McRae Rally 3.0 is coming out for XBOX tomorrow. So if you don't see any posts later that day it's cuz I'm gettin my rally freak-on.
More proof that yes, indeed, all women are part lesbian. (safe for work)
Yes Tuan, we all care about your drive in to work. Really we do.
in the same vein, I blew my nose this morning and kind of looked at it for a wihle. Just thought I'd share, you know, because this weblog stuff is just so easy...
/still in a foul mood from my nickname being nicked..
Stupid people must have an innate desire to remove themselves from the gene pool. Some old lady jaywalks across FOUR lanes on my morning commute. If I had a shittier car, I'd be tempted to play some real life Carmageddon...
I'm not very fond of having to put an underscore in my nickname since some dork already took SpaceCoyote on here...
This will probably put me in a foul mood all day.
Keep checking my weblog / mackenzie message board for all kinds of crazy crap on the walls.
Hey gang. I had to trademark the site cuzza that 'other' SATANIC blog: hallway.blogspot.com . Go ahead, you'll see what I mean. They all appear to be satanic verses of some sort.
So I checked my mail. Turns out I got an email from 'Alyssa' asking me if I needed an escort. So I click on it expecting to see an advertisement for the new Ford Escort and lo and behold what greets me? Boobies! Pure, un-adulterated, mounds of joy! God bless the Internet.
Wednesday, February 19, 2003
Sure, sure... PETER ANDERSON! Mwha ha ha ha I love my god-like powers on this web page. Ah, who am I kidding? I AM GOD! OK, so that may have been a little uncalled for and I *might* bring down the fire, the blood rain, and the hey-hey-hey it hurts me, for that last remark. So I'll change my status to God Jr. How's that? Niggah out.
In the wild known as the internet, I refuse to use my real name or email address on sites like this.
Hence, the one and only Raul Sanchez-Lopez has joined the group, and has officially declared war on Tuan!
Die Tuan Die!
OK, war over.
All for now.
On the phone.
So I have yet to recieve a call from overseas, but I expect it would go a *little* something like this:
Since this'll be The Hallway's new home I better start putting stuff up shouldn't I? Wow, doesn't it look all professional and shit? I paid a monkey 6 bananas and a case a Bud to pull this off. Money well spent. I'll try to post to my diary, I mean journal, on a regular basis. Read it if you want to, ah the beauty of not spamming people. Isn't it wonderful? Nuff blabbin' on to my first real post: